Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Banderflies In My Stomach

I have been in several romantic relationships over the last 15 years. Some have been short term, and some have been long term. The consistent thread was that I would always get anxious (resulting in a lack of appetite and some nausea if I ate too much) in the first few weeks (or even months) of those relationships. It was during that period of wondering whether my feelings were reciprocated by the opposite sex that I would be in the greatest state of emotional uproar, which led to the physical side effects.

I would always lose a little weight. In fact, around 2002-2003, I lost a pretty good bit of weight because I was changing men at the rate I changed my oil (probably a lot more actually since I wasn't into vehicle maintenance at all). But since this weight would always pile back on three fold and since I am now with my future hubby (he probably wouldn't approve of my going after random men), I really can't rely on that sort of inconsistent weight loss.

HOWEVER, one thing I've noticed in the past couple of weeks is that this level of restriction (at least for the time being) is making me physically feel like I did when I was freshly dating in that I'm not thinking of food nearly as much. In fact, I have wondered a few times over what is causing me to feel like that because there is no new guy in the picture; I promise, Honey! :) (Actually, he doesn't read my blog because I post my weight in it. I'm not comfortable with that yet). There was the 5K I could be a little anxious over temporarily (I signed up for it just a few days before the event), but I felt the same way after it ended. I have some job stress, but it's been going on for a while--and I didn't feel anxious with physical effects until after this fill. It's not a sleep-depriving anxiety or anything bad, but it is a somewhat fluttery feeling that keeps me from going nuts when I'm eating and keeps me from thinking about food all the time (with some exceptions--like the OG indulgence this AM).

So do butterflies in my stomach translate into restriction? Do I have banderflies? :) If so, I am happy about the lack of appetite this time around because I am hopeful that this weight will come off and stay off! And I have a great guy to boot! Well, not to boot but to keep. :)


  1. Hi Darl,
    I worked your weight out in kg's a few posts ago (cos here in Aussieland we use that and not pounds lol I'm always having to convert from you girls) and you sit around 83kg if I remember. How tall are you? Just curious. 83 really doesn't sound much (Listen to me? I would LUUUUUV to be in the early 80's!!! lol xx)

  2. Hey, Cara. I'm 5'7. You may have to convert that too though. :( I have been recently putting the kg's up in the top right corner of my page just for you (I think you're my only Aussie reader--that I'm aware of anyway). :) I'll try to keep doing that. :)

    Thanks for your comment though. I'm still hoping to shed some more, but I'm glad I've lost too. I get frustrated with moving soooo slowly (20 pounds in 7 months is not much), but I am still trying to be optimistic.