Wedding Issues, My Non-Band Secret, and New Low (141)

I debated whether to even post this because this new low may be temporary...but I am still excited. I am down to 141.6 this AM. I have lost about six pounds in the last month, which is a lot for me. Some of it may be/probably is related to wedding, etc. drama It seems like many, many things have been going wrong lately, causing more anxiety for me. I have always had an issue with losing weight when I'm anxious about an upcoming event (and for other reasons too). But this seems to be the biggest event ever for me and is a lot more work than I bargained for...with a lot more opinions and problems than I thought possible. With other issues that have cropped up too (of a non-wedding nature), I think that the stress may have something--or even everything--to do with my loss. But can I take it as a loss even if temporary? I hope so. :)

Whatever the case, I'm fitting in the dress fine--actually, adding the petticoat underneath made it a little more snug than I would've wanted at my earlier weight (didn't factor that in previously for some reason). So everything is good on that front, and since the wedding is Saturday, I doubt I will have any super huge fluctuations in weight--although my stinkin' period is scheduled to arrive that very day. Lovely! Usually when I am stressed, my period arrives later rather than earlier--and I get acne (and big time when I'm stressed) and become bloated for a time before it starts. So this is all wonderful. But at least I don't have to worry about my overall weight (bloating is only a couple of pounds--not sixty). I know a lot of brides are stressed about that (I have been watching loads of WETV bride shows lately as I put together favors--wedding overload, I tell ya! :) ). In fact, somewhere around the time I was banded--perhaps even a little before--I read that one of the top regrets brides have about their wedding day is their weight.

And I'll let you all in on a little secret (yes, I'm secretive even on my blog which doesn't bear my name on it--or my picture yet (since the camera theft--have I mentioned that here?-I have decided that I want one of my bridals to be my first picture...I'm dramatic like that :) )...anyhow, back to the secret...I am already married. No, I'm not a bigamist in the making. It is to my wonderful guy I'm about to marry publicly (who, as you'll notice, I haven't oft called my fiance). We got married around the time I was having kidney stones. My great grandmother died of bladder cancer when she was young, and we were very worried that I might have cancer as I had gone to the doctor a couple of times initially with no answers). I didn't have insurance at the time...and he needed his Greencard, so it was perfect (just kidding about the Greencard--he's totally a citizen :) ). We were engaged a few months before I started having symptoms, and he wanted to get married fairly quickly anyway (that's how great I am...heehee :) ).

I wanted to wait to lose weight because I had only lost about 20 pounds at that point, plus I wanted a church wedding and wanted my parents to be there (well, actually, we both wanted the latter two). We did something simple and decided to keep it under wraps because we didn't want anyone to feel left out and wanted to definitely have the formal ceremony (I know that some people care less about the formal stuff, but it was really important to us--yes, even him). We believed that if we told people, they wouldn't feel that they should come (which has proven to be the case since our secret has been leaked, and some family members have voiced that they aren't going because they believe we should've had it all at the same time--this has nothing to do with gifts or anything, by the way, as no one ever sent any last year nor did we solicit them in any way since we were going the secretive route). I guess I didn't want people judging my second wedding situation either since it is unconventional (probably why I refrained from posting it here--even though I know 99.9% of commenters have been supportive and great, I am always worried about what people think of me and my decisions...working on that).

Anyhow, we had a photographer (the one friend we let in on the secret at that time--months later, I told a couple of others including our lovely local bandit ladies--not the secret leakers, don't worry ;) ) at the ceremony. I have seen posts from others on here who, at bigger weights, really look great and carry it well. I am sorry to say that I am NOT one of those types. It was depressing to look back on pictures from a time when I even felt pretty good about myself (was even wearing a sleeveless dress, which I hadn't done in years) because I had just lost some weight. I hate how that dress looks on me now (is that bad to say since I felt good that day I wore it?). The white sleeveless situation probably exacerbated my flaws, but it was just something I felt I needed to wear for the wedding. So...saying all that...I am hoping that I feel a lot better about the pictures this year at this weight. Maybe that will take away some of the weight regret from the earlier wedding.

Anyhow, my new weight puts me at a BMI of 22.2 (I'm 5'7), pretty much smack in the middle of the 'Normal' category. I am also 60 pounds down today too (I know that's not much for a lot of you :) )! :) I really want to be in the 130's. My goal is still 127 (I still have a bit of belly, upper thigh, and booty fat that could stand to be shed--and some arm action too, so I don't think this is too crazy), but I am SUPER HAPPY where I am. I just think it's always good to have goals--maybe strive for something great and likely get somewhere pretty darn good--if that makes any sense.

I was one of those folks who was worried that the band would not work for me--especially since I was a low-BMI bandster upfront (still obese, of course, but lower on the spectrum of obesity). I was thinking I might be lucky with a 40-pound loss--and was fine with that if I was lucky enough to get there. The band was a little like rolling the dice for me in guaging how much I might be able to lose since low-BMI bansters don't have as much to lose and since some charts show lower and others shower higher figures for percentage of excess (above Normal BMI) weight lost. I continously played with the numbers upfront and would gauge anywhere from 10-40 pounds being what I could likely lose with the charts/figures/percentages I saw (although I still held to my goal as I am an optimist). All the while, for several months early on, I didn't lose a single pound. It wasn't until about April that I began to lose--and I was exercising, so I figured that exercise must be why I was losing and that the band just wasn't right for me. But since then, even in exercise lulls, my weight has remained pretty steady or has gone down (aside from this possible stress-induced hiccup I'm encountering at present). And I am now at sixty down...it's crazy really! I love what the band has done for me. My HUSBAND :) reminded me this morning of my early-on concerns about it not working when I was sharing with him my excitement about my new low (I still don't let him see the scale :) ). As many of you have said, I would definitely do this again if I needed to. I am so blessed, and I am so glad it worked for me.