- I woke up at my highest weight yet since surgery (although I've bounced up and down to it for a while now, so it didn't make me cry this time).
- My computer caught a virus that took me half the day to diagnose and fix.
- I had a personal issue that consumed the latter half of the day...and that will continue to frustrate me for years to come (not exaggerating).
- I accidentally changed my Blogger settings to Arabic and then to an Indian dialect as I was starting this post. This language problem didn't take too long to fix (especially compared to that virus nonsense), but dealing with that ended my day on the same note that it started.
- Oh, and I have a major sunburn, which has served as background fun all day.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Good Riddance, Bad Day!
Wow! Yesterday...ending a few minutes ago...was not my day. Everything I touched or looked at turned to cee-rap!
Monday, May 30, 2011
Happy Memorial Day
Happy Memorial Day to everyone out in the blogosphere....and a special thank you to all of our service men and women, veterans of the armed forces, their families, and the families of fallen soldiers. Thank you all for your sacrifices.
Sunday, May 29, 2011
Why I Write?
I was tagged to discuss my reasons for writing a blog. Please see the instructions and my reasons below.
Why You Write?
*Please also tag 5 others and offer them 3 pearls of wisdom for other writers/bloggers.)
1. I write to give and receive support from this community.
2. I write to release my thoughts.
3. I write to share my life (although I do withhold some elements of it :) ) and to participate in others' lives.
4. I write to give and receive information.
5. I write to motivate myself and others.
Three Pearls Of Wisdom:
-Be appreciative for the things you have.
-Take life by the horns.
-Don't let anyone make you feel not good enough.
I tag everyone who wants to participate. :)
Why You Write?
*Please also tag 5 others and offer them 3 pearls of wisdom for other writers/bloggers.)
1. I write to give and receive support from this community.
2. I write to release my thoughts.
3. I write to share my life (although I do withhold some elements of it :) ) and to participate in others' lives.
4. I write to give and receive information.
5. I write to motivate myself and others.
Three Pearls Of Wisdom:
-Be appreciative for the things you have.
-Take life by the horns.
-Don't let anyone make you feel not good enough.
I tag everyone who wants to participate. :)
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Thankful Thursday
This week, I decided to go with a theme: Modern Conveniences. When I was a little girl, I used to wish that I lived in an era with big poofy gowns and balls galore. Nowadays, I'm thankful I don't. I wouldn't want my world to be without
1. indoor plumbing,
2. central heating and air,
3. electricity,
4. modern transportation, and
5. WLS.
What is your favorite modern convenience?
1. indoor plumbing,
2. central heating and air,
3. electricity,
4. modern transportation, and
5. WLS.
What is your favorite modern convenience?
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Why I Am A Non-Discloser
I haven't talked much lately about the reasons why I don't discuss my weight loss surgery with anyone (minus two) in the real world. I know that many post-ops do. My reasons for keeping my WLS to myself include the following.
1. Many folks seem to want to hear that weight loss is a result of the traditional, non-surgical approaches. They're a part of The Biggest Loser culture where they are enraptured by contestants who set all else aside and focus only on weight loss. It is somehow gratifying to watch the Blue Team eat Subway and work out until they are forced to go to the doctor for overexertion-induced injuries. (I myself have watched many seasons of TBL--see what I mean!).
2. I don't feel any compulsion to debate/butt heads with or even worry about what others think about the merits of WLS if they already have their minds set. Lots of people state that they would never choose WLS for themselves. I don't have the time or energy to deflect criticism such as that I have chosen an easier method of weight loss.
3. Moreover, I don't want to be associated (especially professionally) with any unneccesarily negative thoughts. I am not defined by my WLS and don't need others to agree with me about it. According to one social science theory, when someone disagrees with us, we like the item of disagreement more and the person less (and if they agree with something we like, we like them more). I know that this gives more fuel to my already fully fired problem of people pleasing, but in my professional life, I have a need to be liked and don't need most concepts and opinions irrelevant to my work to jeopardize that.
4. I don't want the constant scrutiny of others paying attention to my weight fluctuations, exercise, and food types and portions. My family does this enough without my help.
5. While I know we say things like our weight is 'gone forever,' bounce backs unfortunately happen. People have complications. Prioritizing weight loss can become difficult. We rekindle some bad cravings. And the list goes on and on (or, to be grammatically correct, "On and on goes the list." :) ). I have observed others through their own accounts who've had regain struggles, and I can personally attest to my own issues since I've had my unfill and have had to prioritize things other than weight. I feel like my audience of three (including myself) is enough to watch me regain without purposefully inviting more to my weight-gain freak show.
6. Similarly, some people seem to WANT people to fail and to regain. I don't like satisfying that sort of crowd moreso than I'll already be doing if I gain.
7. My health and my body are my business. I can't keep people from commenting about my weight gains, bulges, and the like, but I can choose not to contribute to their attacks with a background story.
8. I'm not ashamed of WLS and definitely would try to steer others toward it if I felt that they could benefit. I just wouldn't be their picture of a success (or unsuccessful) story. I would have to be a bit more creative in how I approached recommendations, but my not laying it all out there doesn't completely prohibit me from sharing wonderful things and results with WLS.
9. I haven't shared my deep thoughts, feelings, or actions about gaining weight to many people in my life, so I don't feel I need to do the same with how I've lost the weight.
Of course, the decision to go public or to tell anyone at all is completely your own. I am not trying to advise any newbies or to speak from any sort of superior pedestal. I understand that different people might have a different dynamic in their lives and require a larger support system. Some people might need financial support for surgery or after care. There might be any number of other reasons TO tell. The decision is one's own. However, I would say to give it a little thought before you decide to confide in people. Once you tell, you can't ever un-tell.
Has anyone told anyone and regretted it? Does anyone have positive comments about their decision to go completely public? Is anyone a non-teller like me?
1. Many folks seem to want to hear that weight loss is a result of the traditional, non-surgical approaches. They're a part of The Biggest Loser culture where they are enraptured by contestants who set all else aside and focus only on weight loss. It is somehow gratifying to watch the Blue Team eat Subway and work out until they are forced to go to the doctor for overexertion-induced injuries. (I myself have watched many seasons of TBL--see what I mean!).
2. I don't feel any compulsion to debate/butt heads with or even worry about what others think about the merits of WLS if they already have their minds set. Lots of people state that they would never choose WLS for themselves. I don't have the time or energy to deflect criticism such as that I have chosen an easier method of weight loss.
3. Moreover, I don't want to be associated (especially professionally) with any unneccesarily negative thoughts. I am not defined by my WLS and don't need others to agree with me about it. According to one social science theory, when someone disagrees with us, we like the item of disagreement more and the person less (and if they agree with something we like, we like them more). I know that this gives more fuel to my already fully fired problem of people pleasing, but in my professional life, I have a need to be liked and don't need most concepts and opinions irrelevant to my work to jeopardize that.
4. I don't want the constant scrutiny of others paying attention to my weight fluctuations, exercise, and food types and portions. My family does this enough without my help.
5. While I know we say things like our weight is 'gone forever,' bounce backs unfortunately happen. People have complications. Prioritizing weight loss can become difficult. We rekindle some bad cravings. And the list goes on and on (or, to be grammatically correct, "On and on goes the list." :) ). I have observed others through their own accounts who've had regain struggles, and I can personally attest to my own issues since I've had my unfill and have had to prioritize things other than weight. I feel like my audience of three (including myself) is enough to watch me regain without purposefully inviting more to my weight-gain freak show.
6. Similarly, some people seem to WANT people to fail and to regain. I don't like satisfying that sort of crowd moreso than I'll already be doing if I gain.
7. My health and my body are my business. I can't keep people from commenting about my weight gains, bulges, and the like, but I can choose not to contribute to their attacks with a background story.
8. I'm not ashamed of WLS and definitely would try to steer others toward it if I felt that they could benefit. I just wouldn't be their picture of a success (or unsuccessful) story. I would have to be a bit more creative in how I approached recommendations, but my not laying it all out there doesn't completely prohibit me from sharing wonderful things and results with WLS.
9. I haven't shared my deep thoughts, feelings, or actions about gaining weight to many people in my life, so I don't feel I need to do the same with how I've lost the weight.
Of course, the decision to go public or to tell anyone at all is completely your own. I am not trying to advise any newbies or to speak from any sort of superior pedestal. I understand that different people might have a different dynamic in their lives and require a larger support system. Some people might need financial support for surgery or after care. There might be any number of other reasons TO tell. The decision is one's own. However, I would say to give it a little thought before you decide to confide in people. Once you tell, you can't ever un-tell.
Has anyone told anyone and regretted it? Does anyone have positive comments about their decision to go completely public? Is anyone a non-teller like me?
Sunday, May 22, 2011
Strange Sex: Feederism
I watched a TLC Strange Sex episode tonight. I can't remember watching this show previously, but it came on right after Sister Wives and had me hooked from the beginning (hate it when that happens!).
The first part of the program was about a couple in a feederism relationship. Call me ignorant, but I didn't really know that this type of relationship existed. In case you haven't heard of it either (???), feederism is "deriving sexual pleasure from encouraging another to eat, being served large quantities of food, and/or gaining weight."
The couple on the show met online in a forum for overweight females. The woman in the relationship is the feedee. She weighs around 600 pounds. To her significant other, she is perfection. He likes curves, cellulite, and a bigger body. He likes to feed her to anticipate where the weight will go. The woman likes to be fed and to feel like the man's Perfect 10.
The narrative briefly discussed health consequences, but the woman said that she hasn't had any blood pressure or other issues and is 'smart about it' ('it' referring to what she eats). She said that she tries to control sodium intake (although it showed her eating a BIG bowl of chips, soy sauce, and lots of other high salt content food). While she stated that she doesn't believe that she is doing anything unhealthy, bacon and chocolate cake were also a part of what she ingested during the show. And her portions were enormous.
The first part of the program was about a couple in a feederism relationship. Call me ignorant, but I didn't really know that this type of relationship existed. In case you haven't heard of it either (???), feederism is "deriving sexual pleasure from encouraging another to eat, being served large quantities of food, and/or gaining weight."
The couple on the show met online in a forum for overweight females. The woman in the relationship is the feedee. She weighs around 600 pounds. To her significant other, she is perfection. He likes curves, cellulite, and a bigger body. He likes to feed her to anticipate where the weight will go. The woman likes to be fed and to feel like the man's Perfect 10.
The narrative briefly discussed health consequences, but the woman said that she hasn't had any blood pressure or other issues and is 'smart about it' ('it' referring to what she eats). She said that she tries to control sodium intake (although it showed her eating a BIG bowl of chips, soy sauce, and lots of other high salt content food). While she stated that she doesn't believe that she is doing anything unhealthy, bacon and chocolate cake were also a part of what she ingested during the show. And her portions were enormous.
I know that I shouldn't be one to judge particular eating patterns as I have my own problems with resisting certain types of food (chocolate cake being one of them)...and I really hate judging people in general, but this woman's scary weight goals made me more closely scrutinize her food choices out of complete concern for her health. She has a goal weight of 1000 pounds although it doesn't sound as if she wants to stop there. Both she and the man also have an ultimate goal of her immobility! The narrator discussed how this is typical in extreme feederism relationships for power reasons--the feedee wants to become completely reliant on the feeder and the feeder wants to have complete control over the feedee. The woman said her dream was to do less and have fewer responsibilities.
Did anyone else see this episode? Had you heard of feederism previously? What are your thoughts?
Did anyone else see this episode? Had you heard of feederism previously? What are your thoughts?
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Thankful Thursday
Lacey, a fellow bandit and blogger who I've been fortunate enough to meet in person, does a Grateful Friday post that recurs most every week. I have always thought that this was such a great idea (one of her many great ideas!). I thought I would start my own Thankful Thursday (I hope Lacey follows the line of thought that repetition is the sincerest form of flattery?!).
I may not contribute to my Thankful Thursday every week, but I would like to do so as much as possible since recounting those things for which I am grateful always helps remind me how much God has blessed me. So I guess there's nothing left to mention other than to share my first week of things for which I am thankful.
1. My wonderful family
2. My supportive online friends
3. My health
4. My abilities
5. Lacey for reminding me that we should remember to be thankful even when life throws us some major challenges (for those who don't know, Lacey is a cancer survivor and military spouse in addition to a bandster--she has definitely faced her share of obstacles but does so with a grateful heart).
Check out Lacey's blog at www.buchorn.com/blog.
I may not contribute to my Thankful Thursday every week, but I would like to do so as much as possible since recounting those things for which I am grateful always helps remind me how much God has blessed me. So I guess there's nothing left to mention other than to share my first week of things for which I am thankful.
1. My wonderful family
2. My supportive online friends
3. My health
4. My abilities
5. Lacey for reminding me that we should remember to be thankful even when life throws us some major challenges (for those who don't know, Lacey is a cancer survivor and military spouse in addition to a bandster--she has definitely faced her share of obstacles but does so with a grateful heart).
Check out Lacey's blog at www.buchorn.com/blog.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Get Up!
Maria at http://lasttrainoutoffatland.blogspot.com/ posted this about the dangers of sitting. I wanted to repost it just in case anyone missed it.
Via: Medical Billing And Coding
Via: Medical Billing And Coding
Monday, May 16, 2011
Roasted Marshmallows, Anyone?
It's been a while since I had one, but a couple of nights ago, I had another dream about our blogger group. We were having a group camping trip. Somehow it turned into a lock-in at a church gymnasium. I remember many of us exchanging numbers and information.
Our online community is never far from my thoughts.
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Black Swan Diving Into Scary Skinniness
I watched Black Swan last night. It's really not my type of flick. Very disturbing.
I was in ballet as a child--from the age of five up through my teens. I had aspirations of achieving pointe (toe shoe-level) from early on in my endeavors. The year after I made pointe, I stopped. Pointe is pretty from an outsiders' perspective, but it can be pretty painful for the participant. I developed all sorts of feet issues (painful--and sometimes gross--stuff...although it's all gone now).
Anyhow, while watching the movie, I remembered an interview a few months back with Natalie Portman about the hours and hours of exercise she had to put in for the role.
I also remember in footage surrounding the interview that there were brought to light real life accounts of the severe eating disorders of professional ballerinas (bulimia was shown in the movie...and anorexia was at least alluded to). It's sad that in a lot of the 'pretty professions'--ballet, modeling, acting, etc.--there are so many sad accounts of women partaking in illegal substances or developing eating disorders...not very pretty when you look really closely at them. :(
Did you see the movie? Did you like it?
I was in ballet as a child--from the age of five up through my teens. I had aspirations of achieving pointe (toe shoe-level) from early on in my endeavors. The year after I made pointe, I stopped. Pointe is pretty from an outsiders' perspective, but it can be pretty painful for the participant. I developed all sorts of feet issues (painful--and sometimes gross--stuff...although it's all gone now).
Anyhow, while watching the movie, I remembered an interview a few months back with Natalie Portman about the hours and hours of exercise she had to put in for the role.
I also remember in footage surrounding the interview that there were brought to light real life accounts of the severe eating disorders of professional ballerinas (bulimia was shown in the movie...and anorexia was at least alluded to). It's sad that in a lot of the 'pretty professions'--ballet, modeling, acting, etc.--there are so many sad accounts of women partaking in illegal substances or developing eating disorders...not very pretty when you look really closely at them. :(
Did you see the movie? Did you like it?
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Thursday, May 5, 2011
Skinny Family Members All Around
Does anyone else have them? The folks in your life who have never had to worry about weight issues? My family is stacked, and I'm certainly not one of the lucky ones.
I spent some time with my sister today, and I probably shouldn't say this, but I was just wracked with jealousy over her size at several points during the day. She drinks two to five Starbucks frappuccinos a day and has somehow lost about 10 pounds (from a HEFTY--to her--125 to a NORMAL--to her--115...at 5'7) in the last couple of months (still drinking the same amount of Starbucks and not really exercising). And don't even get me started on the food she eats (but I will say that there is lots of candy and BAD carbs in the mix). Ugh! And she was trying to give me weight-loss advice. So frustrating (although I didn't tell her that)! Please don't get me wrong: I love my sister, and we have loads of fun together...but I just wish I could quash the envy-inspired thoughts because I know that jealousy doesn't help either of us or our relationship.
I really think I could handle the situation quite well if we were not related and did not see one another a lot. Does anyone else have 'that skinny family member' or 'that thin friend' that you are around all of the time or very frequently? What do you do about the situation, or what is your self talk to handle it?
I hope I'm not the only jerkfish out there who thinks this way. :(
I spent some time with my sister today, and I probably shouldn't say this, but I was just wracked with jealousy over her size at several points during the day. She drinks two to five Starbucks frappuccinos a day and has somehow lost about 10 pounds (from a HEFTY--to her--125 to a NORMAL--to her--115...at 5'7) in the last couple of months (still drinking the same amount of Starbucks and not really exercising). And don't even get me started on the food she eats (but I will say that there is lots of candy and BAD carbs in the mix). Ugh! And she was trying to give me weight-loss advice. So frustrating (although I didn't tell her that)! Please don't get me wrong: I love my sister, and we have loads of fun together...but I just wish I could quash the envy-inspired thoughts because I know that jealousy doesn't help either of us or our relationship.
I really think I could handle the situation quite well if we were not related and did not see one another a lot. Does anyone else have 'that skinny family member' or 'that thin friend' that you are around all of the time or very frequently? What do you do about the situation, or what is your self talk to handle it?
I hope I'm not the only jerkfish out there who thinks this way. :(
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Eating Vegetarian
What do you think? Could we achieve bodies like this if we ate vegetarian only? LOL!
Tuesday, May 3, 2011
Khloe Kardashian's Weight Struggles
In case you haven't noticed, I'm pretty much a sucker for reality TV. I recently watched an episode of Khloe and Lamar (a Kardashian spinoff on E!), which focused on Khloe's impression of her weight. While she initially said that she was okay with her weight in spite of the criticism she faced (in fact, she believed it was a testament to her self confidence and desire to be a good role model that she hadn't engaged in extreme efforts to lose weight), she later changed her tune somewhat and admitted to insecurities.
In some ways, I can relate with Khloe. I've mentioned how I have some VERY skinny and beautiful family members who don't seem to 'get' the weight battle. Khloe seems to be similarly situated in that she has four slim and beautiful sisters and a mother, all of whom don't really seem to 'get' it either. However, she is probably more painfully encumbered by a sense of deep insecurity being surrounded by Hollywood types as well.
The episode also reminded me how glad I am not to be in the public spotlight with my weight issues. While publicity MIGHT serve to get me in the gym more frequently, it would be so frustrating that every gain or loss would be so closely scrutinized. I can't imagine. My family is bad enough, I think. And since I choose to keep my surgery to myself, it would be even more frustrating. Now, saying that, Khloe does live a glamorous life...great house and furnishings, great clothes (and beautiful engagement ring!), great connections, money at her disposal, etc., etc. If forced to choose, would you rather have the privacy or the fabulous lifestyle?
Above are a couple of pictures of Khloe. She has yo-yoed a bit with her weight in the last few years as the pictures show.
In some ways, I can relate with Khloe. I've mentioned how I have some VERY skinny and beautiful family members who don't seem to 'get' the weight battle. Khloe seems to be similarly situated in that she has four slim and beautiful sisters and a mother, all of whom don't really seem to 'get' it either. However, she is probably more painfully encumbered by a sense of deep insecurity being surrounded by Hollywood types as well.
The episode also reminded me how glad I am not to be in the public spotlight with my weight issues. While publicity MIGHT serve to get me in the gym more frequently, it would be so frustrating that every gain or loss would be so closely scrutinized. I can't imagine. My family is bad enough, I think. And since I choose to keep my surgery to myself, it would be even more frustrating. Now, saying that, Khloe does live a glamorous life...great house and furnishings, great clothes (and beautiful engagement ring!), great connections, money at her disposal, etc., etc. If forced to choose, would you rather have the privacy or the fabulous lifestyle?
Above are a couple of pictures of Khloe. She has yo-yoed a bit with her weight in the last few years as the pictures show.
Monday, May 2, 2011
Amy W's Chicken Divan Soup
So I FINALLY made the Chicken Divan Soup that Amy W. mentioned on her site several months back. I'd been hoarding a lot of the ingredients for a while and needed to make it before things started to go bad. Yummy (although my husband and I agreed that it would be better in the cooler months)!!! I'll re-post Amy W.'s recipe below.
Oh, and I pulled the largest of the wishbone pieces from the chicken. Maybe that means my wish of getting my big paper done will come true one day...that or getting a windfall of cash!
Chicken Divan Soup
Ingredients
2 tablespoons butter
1 medium-sized sweet onion, chopped
1 garlic clove, chopped
1/4 teaspoon dried crushed red pepper
1 (48-oz.) container chicken broth
2 (12-oz.) packages fresh broccoli florets (about 12 cups)
1 (8-oz.) package cream cheese, cut into cubes
4 cups chopped cooked chicken
1 (8-oz.) block sharp Cheddar cheese, shredded
Salt and pepper to taste
Preparation
1. Melt butter in a Dutch oven over medium-high heat; add onion, and sauté 5 to 6 minutes or until tender. Add garlic and red pepper, and cook 2 minutes. Stir in chicken broth and broccoli. Cover and bring to a boil; reduce heat to medium, and cook 10 to 15 minutes or until broccoli is tender. Stir in cream cheese.
2. Process mixture with a handheld blender until smooth. Add chicken and shredded cheese. Cook, stirring occasionally, 5 minutes or until cheese is melted. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Serve immediately with almonds, if desired.
Note: If you don't have a handheld immersion blender, let mixture cool slightly; process mixture, in batches, in a regular blender until smooth, stopping to scrape down sides as needed. Return mixture to Dutch oven, and proceed as directed.
Oh, and I pulled the largest of the wishbone pieces from the chicken. Maybe that means my wish of getting my big paper done will come true one day...that or getting a windfall of cash!
Chicken Divan Soup
Ingredients
2 tablespoons butter
1 medium-sized sweet onion, chopped
1 garlic clove, chopped
1/4 teaspoon dried crushed red pepper
1 (48-oz.) container chicken broth
2 (12-oz.) packages fresh broccoli florets (about 12 cups)
1 (8-oz.) package cream cheese, cut into cubes
4 cups chopped cooked chicken
1 (8-oz.) block sharp Cheddar cheese, shredded
Salt and pepper to taste
Preparation
1. Melt butter in a Dutch oven over medium-high heat; add onion, and sauté 5 to 6 minutes or until tender. Add garlic and red pepper, and cook 2 minutes. Stir in chicken broth and broccoli. Cover and bring to a boil; reduce heat to medium, and cook 10 to 15 minutes or until broccoli is tender. Stir in cream cheese.
2. Process mixture with a handheld blender until smooth. Add chicken and shredded cheese. Cook, stirring occasionally, 5 minutes or until cheese is melted. Season with salt and pepper to taste. Serve immediately with almonds, if desired.
Note: If you don't have a handheld immersion blender, let mixture cool slightly; process mixture, in batches, in a regular blender until smooth, stopping to scrape down sides as needed. Return mixture to Dutch oven, and proceed as directed.
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