Literally Chasing Rabbits Now

I just got back from my nightly cardio routine. And after speaking all that fluff :) about chasing rabbits the other night, I saw one. I didn't catch it though (don't worry; I didn't try--I'm not all about traumatizing furry little cottontails :) ).

Exercised Off Over a Pound

I was logging my workout for yesterday in my MapMyRun profile. I have now burned more than 3900 calories. I looked up how many calories are in a pound. There are 3500 evidently. So since I've been logging my exercise (only a couple weeks), I have burned over a pound in exercise alone. :) That may not be much to most people, but I'm happy. It takes a lot to rid me of a pound, but I'm trying to do the work.

Also, this AM, I saw the lowest number I've seen since WLS (and since my second year of law school) on the scale: 181.9. That makes a 28.5 BMI. However, I tend to go by my average number for how much weight I've lost though (I weigh myself millions of times a day--I know, I know :) ). It is probably somewhere around 183 right now (unless it continues to go down--I'm finishing up my TOM, so there's a little hope I can shed a little more). Still, that's a little more than 20 pounds down.

To 5K or Not To 5K???

I did 3.28 miles of jogging in one interval...for the first time since I was 20 years old. YEA!!!! I also did another 1/4 mile on top of that. I am typing this before even bathing because I'm so excited...really smelly, I'm sure, but excited!!! :) :) :)

So, question: I am thinking about signing up to jog in my first 5K this Saturday. The final day to sign up is tomorrow (I think). By pushing myself to do what I believe equals a 5K in miles tonight, I am more optimistic that I can do it....so maybe I should? I am worried though that I'll get so nervous that I might not be able to make it or that all my anxieties will make me lose some steam. Also, if I do peter out on the 5K, what will happen if I begin to walk? Has anyone done that or have experience in seeing that happen with a 5K (you can tell I'm completely green in that area!)? I don't guess they'll kick you out of the race or make a public spectacle out of you, but I would still like to know. Or do they? Yikes! Any comments or help would be great!

Getting Thin and What It Looks Like: An Historical Perspective

In addition to my J.D., I have two other graduate degrees (and am working on another one right now). During my studies for one of them, I did an in-depth paper on college women's body images (and body image dysphoria). I did a lot of reading for that paper and found that there were some interesting methods of weight loss during the Victorian period.

While women came to understand some principles of dieting and would also take 'gentle strolls' to exercise early in the 1900's, prior to and even concurrent with this, there were the practices of corsetry, melting, and rolling.

Many of you are familiar with the idea of corsets. Can we say, "Ouch!"? Some of them sound VERY painful!

But there were a couple of other, possibly lesser known techniques employed by the poor, hopeful women of the Victorian period who were aiming to shed some pounds. One was melting. Women would put on a very tight rubber suit and sit in a tub full of water that was heated as much as possible (Ouch again!). This was thought to 'melt' off women's weight.

And then there was rolling. As you might guess by its name, women rolled on the floor continuously in hopes that some pounds would begin to slide right off as they did this.

Of course(t) :), maybe some of our options of weight loss today aren't always so much better: anorexia and bulimia nervosa, for example.

While I certainly share with my sisters of yore in their struggles to take off the weight, I'm so thankful that we have WLS available today. Otherwise, I too might be donning my rubber suit and heading into a watery inferno every morning. Yikes!

Oh, while I'm on an historical roll (pun intended), I also think it's amazing that time has shown such diverse standards of beauty from Renaissance to Retro.

Saying that, though, I personally want to be healthy. That may be more on the bigger side for me or more on the smaller. But I think being at my optimal level of health is what's important. People in my profession tend to pass away at a younger age because of the stressful life we lead (taking on others' problems and crises as our own is a big factor in that). There are lots of heart attacks and that sort of thing. I don't want my weight to be another reason I might cock up my toes sooner than I might otherwise.

Scars on the Brain

While it's probably been alleged that 'scars on the brain' is part of the problem with me, that is not the topic at hand. Instead, I've been wondering lately if my scar has decreased because my stomach has. I have used Mederma and bought the stuff Catherine recommended at her blog (but haven't used it yet because I moved in May and went out of the country in June/July--stupid excuses, I know). I have not been slathering on the cream as much recently though and have still noticed some scar shrinkage.

Perhaps this is a silly question. I'm sure some of you are thinking, "Duh!" But at the same time, I don't think I've seen this addressed on any posts. Feel free to cross-reference and cite posts if you know of one discussing this. :)

Just in case you are interested since we are on th subject, I had the two-incision injection that some of Dr. R's other patients had. I will try to post pics of my lovely scar (and the small one, which is probably better classified as a mini-scar :) ). This I don't think I could ever do were I not anonymous...nor tell my weight...nor my BMI...etc., etc. I applaud all of you fearless wonders out there whom I'm in awe of. I'm such a fraidy chicken.

Never seen a fraidy chicken?
Here are a couple of varieties so that you can better identify us if the need arises! :)

While I Usually Put Termites to Shame With My Eating Habits....

....tonight, I only had a soup and a little of the appetizer. For lunch, I had the salad bar at a local restaurant (and didn't get much OR clean my plate). For breakfast, I had a low-fat Jello Puddng. I haven't even felt that hungry all day. I could have a messed up stomach though...I won't go into that as I think I've maxed out for the year on my lack of netiquette (I'm truly not this gross in real life, I promise). :)

I do hope I'm finally turning over a new leaf though...on second thought, is it better to be a caterpillar than a termite? This is evidently why I need a lapband: everything reminds me of food or eating! :) :) :)

Termites Versus Caterpillars
(Sounds like a sporting event)

Make Up Exercise, Etc.

No, this post is not about the proper application of make-up while engaging in aerobic activity. :) It is probably a little more on the disgusting side actually. That makes two in a couple days from me. I hope I'm not creating an association with myself as the Geerossafat Bandster??!!!! ;)

Either way, the story must be told. Today after work, I decided to do double-duty exercise since I slacked and didn't do anything last night. I would try to make up days missed walking when I was more consistently doing that a couple years back; however, it didn't really keep me motivated over the long haul or lead to super great outcomes (just aggravation), so I'm not planning to play catch-up every time I miss these days. I am seeking a 'life change' (as overused as I'm sure that phrase is in weight-loss circles, it applies to what I am after).

But as far as today's jog/walk, I was hotter than the fiery pits of the place that starts with the 'H'. I mentioned on Lap Band Labyrinth's page my desire to run through random neighbors' sprinklers. I restrained myself...this time...thoughI can't promise I won't in the future, but don't worry, I'll try to post from my jail cell if I am arrested for trespassing, ordinances against general or specific acts of crazyiness, or otherwise.

Back to the jog/walk....no fewer than a million people (I like big fish stories! ;) ) slowed down, it seemed, to stare at the poor, sweating, panting, smelly, semi-nauseous, jiggling, super slow, about-to-fall-on-her-face-from-exhaustion-and-heatstroke jogger. I also haven't shaved in about a week. I know that's gross, but as Michele, a fellow bandster, mentioned recently, we bandsters become a little more graphic what with tales of PBing, stories of gaseousness, and masterful displays of never-before seen 'before' photos (that while they would have made many of us the envied and admired well-fed women of the Renaissance, in today's world they are not really in line with the standard of beauty). But we are all GLAD that one another is sharing and telling it all/letting it all hang out (literally!) so that we can see what this process is all about.

Now, what was I discussing? I have been told that I have a stream-of-consciousness approach to writing (I am much better about avoiding this in work documents, THANKFULLY! :) ). I know that I chase a lot of rabbits...and, just as a side, if I chased them all literally, I would probably be at goal already. :)

But, back to the subject of shaving (I think it was shaving? :) ), I usually wear pants to work and run at dusk or after, so I don't need to worry with all of that on a daily basis. I also have a severe aversion to shaving too. It's annoying. I want electrolysis...but that's another, too expensive rabbit to even think to chase right now.

WAIT!!! Did my leg get detached from my body?!

At any rate, today, every single person on the street was checking his or her mailbox in unison, it seemed. I tell you, they came out in droves under the auspices of doing all sorts of yard work, barbequeing, and hoola hooping (okay, you caught me, I really didn't see a hoola hooper unless I was missing them when I was possibly dealing with heat-brought-on hallucinations about some leprechauns and dancing polar bears....hhhmmmm, they seemed real at the time...j/k) just to laugh behind my back at my legcupines, a distant cousin of the porcupine species (for all you Animal Planet peeps). Paranoid, you think? Not I! :) I do get self conscious whenever cars slow on the road when I am jogging or walking (although, admittedly, there are several speed bumps for which they MUST slow...with a new sign that says "Speed Humps" that we like to snicker about for reasons better left to the imagination). I just want all of the public world to get the heck on their merry ways and let me sweat, look completely disheveled and unsightly, and go on about my wilting of the poor plants with the terrible smells that are surely emanating from my body (yep, that's probably overkill on even bandster graphic acceptance levels).


Saying all that, I am now ashamed to admit that I myself also slow down in the neighborhood when I see someone running, dog walking, or engaging in any other variety of outside activity. I don't want to hit anyone, of course. But it goes beyond that: I'm a people watcher too. Well, at any rate, at least I'm honest about my double standards and hypocritical ways. I guess I can find some moral comfort in that.

Picture of Me Two Days Before Being Banded

I thought I would post a couple of before shots though still doing my best at keeping the ole identity anonymous.

In the first one, I was eating (what I do best). I look like Cousin It's sister here with my hair falling in my face. In the second, the angle looks better for my waistline (and notice the strategically placed hands). These were taken two days before I went to Mexico. I think I actually left the panhandle for MX early morning the day after these shots.

I don't have any surgery shots because I went alone. Yep, all by my lonesome. My guy, as wonderful as he is, couldn't get off work. But no, I'm not at all brave. I was crying my eyeballs out the night before and the morning I left. I was scared to death.

I can't say that the surgery and its effects were completely pain free, but I'm a scaredy chicken and a total baby when it comes to pain and the thought of it. I have cried at all but one of my fills, and they have been almost completely painless.

Picture #1

Picture #2

Gross Post---Be Forewarned :)

Tonight I PBed water only even though I was eating solid foods immediately prior to the upchucking (though yes, I did have water with my food too--bad bandster :( ). If food gets stuck, why is it that water is the only thing that comes out? This has happened a couple times...and I'm confused.

Fit in a Size 16 Pant!!!!!!!!

I decided I would try on some pants I haven't been able to wear in a dog's age (a few dog's ages actually if 1 year ='s 7 for dogs :) ) this AM. If they fit, I would have some extra variety in my work clothes.

Well...drum roll...they did!!!! They are not even snug! YEA!!!

As a reference, this dog is probably about the age of the

hypothetical dog who would have been born on the date

when last I wore my pants--that and the look on his face is the literal look

I had on my face this morning when I fit in the pants again. :)

2.02 MILES!!!!

I'm starting off this blog with umpteen millions posts today, I know, but I had to transfer some over from my OH blog and, as far as this one goes....................I ran 2.02 miles in one interval tonight!!! And there wasn't even a fight with loverboy to spurn it :) --although at about 1.25 miles in, a guy walking a dog told me to keep going because I was doing great. Whether I've done this through encouragement or fighting, I'm very excited! I'm getting closer to those 5K goals. I've increased my distance .77 in a week's time! So overall tonight, in my total of 3.65 miles ran/walked, I jogged another .5 miles as well. Though it wasn't part of the 2.02 interval, it brings my total up to 2.52 for the evening. Awesome possum!

By the way, please feel free to add me, befriend me, or follow me here, at OH, or at LBT. I can't wait to have people join me on my journey since I'm forever wanting to talk about it with others. I have some other sites too, but since I'm anonymous, I'll wait to share those links when the time is right.

Did I mention I'm excited??!!!! :)

Where I'm At And Where I'm Going: A Comprehensive (& Overly Painful) Analysis

Weight: I am hovering around the 186-lb. mark. One day the scale will show that I am at 184.somecrazytenthdigit, and the next AM, it will say 187 lbs. It's frustrating and has no rhyme or reason (other than the AM's sometimes show a lower number and after my exercise sometimes shows a lower number). By the way, I started at 203.4 and am 5'7. So as I hover around 186, I am also hovering at the BMI category of obese v. overweight. I would like to be solidly within the overweight category (well, actually normal, but I am trying not to get ahead of myself). I would like to be in the 130's at the end of this journey.

Exercise: As of last night, I am jogging 1 1/4 miles. :) I would like to sign up for a 5K to have something to aspire to. My big fear in exercise: losing motivation. Does anyone have any tips for coping with that? Over the past several years, I've walked on and off, but jogging is actually what gets the weight off of me. But like I've done with the walking, I hope I don't just quit because of life's demands. And from what I've read and heard and remember from my more athletic days (and from earlier this summer), it's even harder to build back up stamina to jog than to walk. :( It really does scare me!

Food Intake: Can I skip this one? No. Rats! Well, I eat a lot. The band is starting to help with bread and pasta (though I can still get it down--I know, I shouldn't be doing that, but food is my weakness; that is why I got the band). I also recently got addicted to the new limited edition coconut M & M's a co-worker brought me. I have depleted my stash and currently have no intention of buying anymore. I don't count calories and probably should (I did for a few weeks last year when I was doing Weight Watchers--that was before WLS). Today has been a good day for me though: a high-fiber cereal, two microwave Lean Cuisine meals, and some vegetables (okay, okay--I had ranch dip with them :( ). Of course that doesn't include supper. And yes, I know that's more than a lot of you eat, but I'm trying to be honest.

Size Wise: Size 17 and holding in pants. Size XL in shirts and tops. Part of my size is probably due to the fact that I am taller for a female. I notice my shorter counterparts have always been able to don smaller sizes than me. :( Sad but true.

***With everything said in this post and others, I hope I'm not making excuses for fill volume (and even height), but I do want to give my band the benefit of the doubt in why its taking its sweet(spot) time. :)

One of My First NSV's

I played Bunco for the first time this past weekend with a former co-worker (it was very fun, and I highly recommend it!). This AM, that former co-worker and Bunco hostess sent me an email asking how I lost weight. She said that her husband noticed too. Aside from my mother, my significant other, and a current co-worker (the latter two saying that I looked thinner after I initiated the conversation), I don't think anyone else has noticed (or at least hasn't said anything. I guess that counts as an NSV???!!!

Another NSV is that my clothing fits better. I have not gone down a size yet :( (I started and am still at a Size 17), but I can fit in the full range of clothing at my size instead of just barely getting the bigger 17's zipped. I am still wearing stretchy pants to work too, but I've noticed that they fit more loosely. I hope to soon be able to report that I've gone down a size.

I, of course, wonder if my slow weight loss has something to do with me starting at a low BMI and not getting much by way of fills. What do you all think?

Either way, I have noticed some restriction with this last fill so far. Cross your fingers that this will help push me down the scale.

Anger-Induced Jogging May Be A Good Thing

Last Thursday night my significant other and myself had an altercation. We are usually quite peaceable in our relationship and like it that way--especially me since I handle enough contention at work with clients :) . Well, I was about to do my nightly 3 miles jog/walk, so out the door I went as planned. This was the first night I logged a mile of straight jogging. I have been steadily adding to my distance (was at 3/4 of a mile last), but I haven't made it to that MILEstone until last night. I can't say I jogged quickly. In fact, I probably got passed by a few slugs and turtles on my foray :) , but still I was definitely jogging!!!! YEA!!!!

Saying that, I think I ran 1 and 1/4 miles the other night, but my stinkin' pedometer had somehow been set to kilometers. So I went online to do a conversion but wasn't completely, 100% sure about the exact time I started and stopped since I was so frustrated with the kilometer situation in the first place. Therefore, last night is the first time I am counting my jogging as a mile...the first time I've officially jogged a mile since I was 20 years old (I was exercising a little that year)!!!

A Little About Me

I have not always been obese. In fact, I was probably quite scrawny up until high school. In my ninth grade year, I went from a Size 1 to a Size 9. The next couple of years brought me to a Size 13. After high school, my sizes increased more and more. I have exercised and dieted, yes, but the weight has come back (and then some). I was even a server for a few years during college, but the weight wouldn't budge below what seemed like a set-point weight in spite of all the running to and fro in the restaurant biz. That job pretty much kept me maintained.

Still, I was what WLS folks consider a low BMI bandster before my lapband surgery, which took place on December 18, 2008, by Dr. Roberto Rumbaut in Monterrey, MX. However, because I had just started my very sedentary career (I am an attorney) and because my family members are mostly obese (and I have been obese for the past several years), I believed it was better to head off my weight situation before it became more than I could control. I also thought that this might allow me to lessen my need for plastic surgery and that sort of thing later if my skin didn't stretch any more than it already has by my weight gain.

My post-op care (fills) has been done by Dr. John Nye in Pensacola, FL. Dr. Nye believes that fills should be very SLOW so that damage is not done to the band. I have had the band close to seven months, and just last week got to 2 cc's in my band that holds 4 cc's. Before that, I had 1.5 cc's since March 24, 2009. My first fill (1 cc) was in January. Yes, it is frustrating moving this slowly, but at least my weight has been going down (though it actually increased after my WLS to 205 pounds in January/February of this year as I was studying for the another state's bar--at least I passed that bar! :) ). My philosophy of fills is not the same as Dr. Nye's, but I figure that he's the doctor, and I believe I am close to where a lot of folks are who start rapidly losing (I hope anyway).

Of course, I have also been running. I do at least 3 miles a night walking/running. I run about 1/2 of that. I think that this has contributed to my weight loss. I started walking and running in April.

Another good bandster thing I have done is not drink a lot of bad-for-me drinks. Unsweet tea without sweeteners is my drink of choice. I also do water. I can't say I haven't had anything else to drink besides that, but at least it's positive that I don't have to kick a persistent bad habit in what I drink.

I have been very private about my weight loss surgery. My significant other and one good friend are the only people who know about it. I have not told my family. Interestingly enough, while I have received compliments from them for what weight loss I have achieved, I have also heard them make inaccurate statements about WLS and the fact that I should never get that myself.

My ultimate weight loss goal is quite high (or low rather :) ), but my fiance and I are planning to tie the knot next summer. So I have motivation there. I would also like to lose a lot by December of this year since we have a lot of Christmas parties and such to attend. At any rate, goal or no, I see this as a preventative tool for future weight gain which was truly inevitable.