Question About Biotin

I bought some Biotin tablets (thanks for asking about that, Cara, and for answering, Catherine :) ). I was wondering how you all are taking them??? Do you open them up and put it in food/water, or do you swallow them? So far, I've been doing the Flintstone vitamins (two a day) for all my vitaneeds, but, of course, they are chewable. These are supplemental to those, not a replacement (just in case any of you haven't heard, Biotin is supposed to help hair growth, which is important for us post WLS). Has anyone noticed any results (new hair growth or healthier-looking hair) since taking them? Cara, how have your other hair products been working?

Wintertime Exercise Update

I ate too much during the holidays. But like many of you, I am resolved to buckle down now and have started my exercise regimen in full force.

First has been the jogging. Tonight I did five miles straight jogging! Yea! That is a first for me in this journey. My sister jogged alongside me, and she is a runner. That helped motivate me (though she is leaving town again tomorrow :( ). We went by some light displays (still up, of course) in the downtown area. Very pretty. Last night I did 3.2 miles and saw some other lights nearer to my abode. It almost makes me want to jog further to see more. If only people would keep them up longer--I am turning into an advocate of redneck July Christmas decorations evidently. :)

Next calorie burner has been the Wii. I received a Wii for Christmas from my wonderful guy. :) He knew I wanted it to get in shape for the wedding even though they're still a little pricey. I used the Wii Fit for the first time yesterday (and created a Mii like a lot of you guys). I like the advanced step a lot. I have some sort of sports resort game too that might allow me to burn some calories, but I haven't had time to break that one out yet.

Finally, I have used my snow scraper that I bought when I lived in more northerly climes two times in the last week (I know! That cold in Florida!!! I do covet my scraper though in times like this since we don't see them in stores down here). That may not exactly be digging my car out or shoveling snow (like Sarah as I recall), but at least it's some sort of motion that doesn't involve bringing food to my lips or digging it out of the frig.

I hope you all are finding fun ways to be active and that you all had a blessed Christmas!

Merry Christmas Eve and Shoutout to Liz

Merry Christmas Eve everyone!!! I hope you all are enjoying your holiday season!!!



Also, Liz, I just wanted to tell you that I think you look fab and love your new pics! You look awesome, and those people bringing up all the negativity really should stop. It's so unnecessary and makes us all nervous about blogging our true feelings (and probably posting pics too for those people that are comfortable doing that). In fact, I was talking to Amy yesterday about one of my big issues in telling people about my band is worrying about people being judgmental. Things like this make me even more skittish. At any rate, Liz, speaking for the majority, I assure you, we think you look amazing!!!

LOVE YOU ALL!!!

My Experience Meeting a Supersar Bandster

I got the most wonderful Christmas present today: I got to meet Amy in person, and she is just as amazing as she seems on her blog. She is so funny and beautiful (so tiny) and warm and intelligent. Unfortunately, I was sounding like a babbling, bluthering idiot since I was a bit star struck (and I am really kicking myself for this now because there was so much more I wanted to hear about her). I even kept asking her overlapping questions because there was so much I wanted to know. I wish we could've talked longer, but I had to get back to work, and she had some things to tend to as well. I can't wait to see her again though. She is super cool; if I were Barbara Walters, she would've been my top interview of the year. :)

And attention to Mary, Melly, and Lacey, we are definitely wanting to get together with you guys too. Dinner or lunch or whatever. We are starting to plan something with Mary in the next couple of weeks; we both can't wait to meet her (and everyone else). We are also talking about walking with one of the walking clubs in downtown Pensacola on Wednesday nights (though I might walk on Tuesdays too with another one, so if anyone can make it then, let me know). We don't have to do this every week or anything, but anytime you want to show up, let everyone know so anyone who is available can plan to meet. Just FYI, the walkers start at Hopjacks on Wednesday and Seville Quarter on Tuesdays (Amy knows the times). I hope we can all meet soon!!!

One Year Ago Today...

One year ago today, I was beginning my recovery from lapband surgery. I wasn't feeling so spiffy (much like tonight--I have a stupid cold). In fact, there was another lady and a guy I had met who were getting banded the same day as me. Out of the three of us, I was either the most whiny or the one with the most pain.

At any rate, those two were really nice folks, and I wonder what became of them. We bonded in a big way because we were alone in a foreign city and because we were sharing a unique experience. We all went to a mall together the day after we were banded and bought popsicles, and the lady and I even saw a movie the night before we flew out of town. I didn't think I would be able to bond with too many people in that same way, but I HAVE (and I can't wait to meet some of you guys in person too). I know we hear this a lot, but I am super thankful to my bandit buddies out there. I blogstalked many of you long before I ever developed my own blog (by the way, I recommend creating a blog to anyone out there who is band blogstalking). You inspire me and motivate me almost daily. That unique sense of community and support is one of the most important things that this year has brought. I can't imagine not having my blog friends.

But there are some other things I have experienced over the past year as well. I have been able to jog--over 4 miles now--and participate in a 5K. My face, aside from a couple wrinkes (argh) is also looking like it did when I was younger. While right now I don't necessarily fit in many clothes (I'm really tight--monetarily speaking--as I've mentioned), this isn't a horrible thing for my self esteem. I don't mind bumping into people I know anymore; I used to be so ashamed. Also, I am very close to being within the normal BMI range.

And one of the biggest things to celebrate (for all of us) is that there is not nearly the anxiety in contemplating gaining all the weight back or becoming heavier than before surgery. I was a lower-BMI surgical candidate if you'll recall, so it was really me thinking about my relationship wth food and then taking a realistic look at my future. I have some very obese family members with my same body type, and I realized that I would just continue moving in that direction if things didn't change. Also, as my lawyer friends can attest, life as an attorney is certainly VERY sedentary. It's like Iron-Butt Syndrome, and I was just getting started. I haven't had children yet either (and would like to), so that would probably mean more weight. I was also one of those people who had lost weight successfully but then just put it back on and then some. The future looked grim, but I am thankful every day for my decision and my band. Just to think that I'd probably be 10+ pounds over what I was before surgery if I had not taken that step! And as you probably can tell, I would be willing to endure whatever pain I felt this time last year if I had it to do again (thank goodness I shouldn't have to though! :) ).

That said, make sure you eat a protein bar or tip back a shake (for you folks on liquids) for my bandiversary!

Work, Party, and Weight Updates

Well, I have survived the first two weeks of work (and my new fill) now. I am extremely busy trying to make my billable-hour requirement, but I am getting great training--and am not thinking about food nearly as much as I was (thanks to being busy and being much more restricted--I feel like I am eating a LOT more like a bandster now).

I have had a few lunches of the eat-out/take-out variety (though none at the really nice place I mentioned) with the staff and attorneys. I survived all of them--except one. That particular lunch was a type of working/learning lunch where we go over new state case law in my practice area (we do this every other week). You could almost hear a pin drop because one person has the floor at a time. But not when I got going: I was gurgling like crazy because it had only been two days since my fill, and though I was supposed to be on liquids for five days, I didn't want anyone to think I was weird for not eating like the crowd (all men that day except me). It was pizza too. Ugh! I was drinking a Diet Dr. Pepper to help push it down. I know that those types of drinks are a no-no, but a couple times when my significant other has had one and I've felt some PBishness coming on, I've taken a swig and felt better. Well, evidently it wasn't a good idea to mix new restriction, pizza, ad Diet Dr. Pepper (and, by the way, I have probably had a total of two diet sodas, if that, since I was banded, so that may not have been the best approach for that reason either). I was trying not to burp--geeross, I know, but I just want to make sure you have the big picture here. Thankfully I didn't, but I kept making this weird, uncontrollable gurgling noise. They probably call me the Office Gurgler or something to that effect behind my back. So much for making a good impression.

I have also had my work Christmas party (today) and my fiance's Christmas party (Saturday night). My Christmas party was just a casual lunch, but his was a formal. I bought a deep, but bright, purple floor-length dress (on sale!). Anyhow, I got a lot of compliments (at least six or seven) from his co-workers about the dress and how good I looked. His firm has a lot of community service and other activities where I see his co-workers every few months (so I know them fairly well). No one mentioned my weight, just the dress, how good lookin' I am (hubba hubba), and that they liked my hair (while my family and close friends (all of whom do NOT know about the surgery) have been taking note of the actual weight loss, I have been getting these hair compliments a lot lately but haven't done anything to it--maybe some people can't figure out the difference? Weight-to-hair transferability perhaps? I was the master of covering up the problem areas before, so that could be it). At any rate, it felt really good to not be self conscious about showing my arms--or the rest of my body for that matter.

As far as my weight, my lowest weight since surgery has now been 162 (or 73.4819 kg). That's over 40 pounds lost and is three pounds away from 159, which will put me in the NORMAL BMI zone. The problem is that I've been bouncing from 162-165 for the last few days. I've been known to bounce for WEEKS, so who knows when I'll get there. Frustrating! But I've been seeing a LOT of weight loss in my face (and apparently my hair too--see above :) ). It is really cool. I also like feeling my hip bones (like Cara). My bandiversary is Friday, and though I doubt I'll have really exciting news to report then since it's only a few days away, I'm happy to be so close to normal in a year. I know that had I not had WLS, I would've weighed MORE than I did last year because of my sedentary job and lifestyle. I certainly would not have been 40 pounds less--40 pounds that are much more likely to stay off than would've been the case had I dieted the traditional way.

I forgot to say, "THANK YOU FOR ALL THE WELL WISHES ABOUT MY NEW JOB!!!" I have posted a reply to Lacey, Cara, Linda, Debi, Melly, and Brooke in my last blog's comment section. I really love my bandster-blogster friends and, though I'm not a super poster, I'm always blogstalking and love reading and hearing from and about you all too. What a great community we have!

Thanksgiving, My Fill, and New Job News

First, I'll start with the Thanksgiving situation. It was very hard to control myself. And I have to admit I fell off the wagon a bit. We had three days of Thanksgiving feasting (with both mine and the fiance's families, neither of which are of the traditional, nuclear variety; thus, more meals and food overall). I was worried it would be bad. Thankfully, I was able to hold it together somewhat and did stay away from any bread just in case I would have some sort of episode. Because I haven't told anyone about my band, inventing excuses for PBing is not my idea of fun. Still, stuffing and mac n' cheese and green bean casserole and chicken n' dumplins and pumpkin pie won my against my ongoing battle of wills. These are bad foods and I ate them in larger quantities than I should have.

But hopefully that need to fight agaist the quantities I can consume will change after today. I got a fill! And, for some reason (perhaps my 3-pound weight gain?), the doctor put in .75 cc's. This is the second highest fill amount I've had put in at one time. I suppose he is in the giving spirit what with the holidays, but, whatever the reason, I'm super stoked. I can hardly believe it honestly!! I did have to wait over an hour in a packed and rather noisy waiting room. But the fill made the annoyingness of that worth it (and a couple of the nurses and the receptionist all apologized for the wait, which I appreciate). Even with the hassles of unscheduled appointments and such, I'm glad I waited this one out since I can save some money but still get where I need to be. The verdict is still out though as far as whether I'm at my sweet spot. Please cross those fingers. Cara and Gen, how did your fills go?

Finally, I haven't mentioned my frustrations with my previous job (except to Catherine, I think), but I had to leave for a whole host of reasons. I am starting a new job tomorrow. It sounds like there will be a large billable-hour requirement, but the training is supposed to be good. And it's with a firm, not a solo practitioner, so some of the things that I was dealing with previously shouldn't fly in this environment. Still, I have the jitters. And something else I'm worried about is them trying to take me out to lunch tomorrow or this week (that's customary around here for new professionals). I understand that they go to one of our nicest restaurants sometimes for different events, and I've been dying to go to that restaurant (but haven't enough pennies for that sort of thing). I even mentioned to one of the attorneys I met that I'd never been there and that I would love to go (this was a few weeks back in the second wave of interviewing). I am on a liquid diet though, so if we do that, I won't get to try anything exciting. Just soup. Blah! This restaurant is not known for soup. I am going to try to find a good way to fit it into the conversation that I am on a liquid diet this week so that maybe we can move my lunch to next week (without mentioning the latter part, of course, since that would sound presumptuous--maybe just that I can't do any lunches out this week because of a doctor-imposed liquid diet). Of course, they may not adhere to the custom of taking out newbies, so I may be worrying for nothing. We'll see. At any rate, I wanted you to all know about the job just in case my posting becomes less frequent. The first few months of a job for me are always the most stressful and hardest because of the learning curve. Because of all the hours required, I'm certain this will be no exception. Say some prayers for me!

Wild and Wacky Weight Loss

The other day I was watching a show (I Lost It!) I had tivoed on Discovery. There were two stories of weight loss that were intriguing. They reminded me of one of my own weird weight-loss ploys from a few years back.

One woman had her jaw wired shut. I'd heard about this being done to people who were overweight but thought it was just some sort of joke (not funny to me, but I'm just reporting). This woman actually found a dentist who would wire her jaws shut. She kept them wired for several months and was only able to eat (well, drink to be more accurate) through a straw. If it didn't go through the straw, it didn't get in the system. She said that she carried wire cutters with her in case she had to get it cut quickly for some reason (I guess if she was choking or had a medical emergency--yikes!). She did, in fact, lose a lot of weight but gained it all back--and then some--after the wires were removed. :(



Another woman tried a weight loss system where she wore some pants that she had to connect to her vacuum. She was supposed to wear them and jog in place while the vacuum was running. I'd never heard of that one before.

Both of these women wound up losing the weight with more natural methods later, but they are not the first to try unusual methods to shed some pounds. Please see my post about women's weight loss methods from the 1800's and early 1900's (namely, the tactics of rolling and melting): http://mybandita.blogspot.com/2009/07/how-to-get-thin-historical-perspective.html.

I have also tried a few of my own uncoventional approaches to get rid of my excess pounds. The one that springs to mind at the moment is an ab belt thing I bought. You may have heard of it--or owned one. It shocks your stomach during intervals to help your abs become stronger and more defined. Now, maybe it is only to help with toning and that instead of actual weight loss (though the ads told and visually depicted a different story, of course), but, either way, it really scared me after I started using it because I was thinking that all those volts to the body couldn't be good for a person. I traded it to a friend for a book after using it without results (other than the feeling that I was slowly electrocuting myself to death).



So have you all used untraditional methods to affect weight loss? Devices, pills, hypnosis (by the way, right before I was banded, I read some posts from a woman on LBT whose band did not work for her--she only lost 10 pounds total over a year and developed major reflux issues--and she had it removed and was going to try hypnosis; that scared me a little pre-banding), etc.? If you tried unconventional weight loss, what were your results?

Rocking Rock Climbing (and the Gym)

On Friday night, I went to the gym for the first time in forever. The gym is at the university where I am a student since I am working on my dissertation--but sort of not a student since I am not currently enrolled in credit hours (although I will take some 'dissertation hours' at some point and have taken loads and loads of classes there for this program and other degrees--it is really a technial thing). My old ID, which I've had forever, did not work there (one of the people had never even seen one that old--obviously I'm not a spring chicken anymore). Still, they let me in the gym as a one-time thing and told me to get a new ID that will swipe correctly if I wanted to come back. I'm not sure if the new one will work to get in the gate because of my weird student status (which none of the gym people really understood how to answer--we only have one doctoral program, and I would bet that almost all of the students are commuters who don't use the gym), so I figured I would do as much as I could at the gym while I had this chance. I am hoping my new card works though since it is a fantastic gym. There is a membership for alumni, but you all know my financial situation could be better at the moment.

Anyhow, the gym was fabulous. Back in the day, the gym was lousy. The fitness area was super small and looked kind of dingy and old. My generation of students was jipped, I tell ya. But they have since built this state-of-the art facility. There was much of it I did not see. I do know that there was a healthy snack place; lots of different types of courts; an olympic-sized pool; small and large fitness rooms; loads of weights, balls, and equipment; and a wall with people's profiles who would work as personal trainers. There were all sorts of programs going on while I was there (again, sad to say, I was there on Friday night--or maybe that's a good thing since that's one of my big chow-down nights, and there were a lot of people there, so I guess it's the new university hang out). They had a karate class, a bike class, and a yoga class all going on that I could see from the indoor track. There were people playing basketball, volleyball, and raquetball too. They had a few typical fitness club-type areas too with plenty of equipment. The men and women were somewhat segregated with the women comprising most of the cardio area and the men in the weight area below. That's fine with me as I'm certainly not there to use my cougar prowess on the youngins--and really don't like to see anyone--especially men--when I'm a sweaty mess.

Well, I had my 'A' game on Friday night. I guess it was because I knew that this might be a one-time thing. I did a full 5K jog on the treadmill (yes, just jogging--I'm still not at the runner's level). Then I did the stair stepper for 20 minutes (alternating levels 3 and 4). Then I walked the indoor track for 1/2 mile. Then I got on the bike and did 6.5 miles in the fat-burn mode. Then I did a stair-stepper-on-steroids machine where there are actual, big stairs (kind of like the one on 'The Biggest Loser'). That about did me in! I lasted 20 minutes. Finally I did another 1/2 mile on the indoor track.

While I was walking it (it is on the second floor), I was watching the folks at the rock-climbing wall (yes, they have one of those too!). It is a really high wall and looked super cool. I was thinking that since I might not get to experience that again, why not? I love to see my fiance on the weekends since we're limited with work during the week, but I wanted to take advantage of this unique fitness opportunity. So I went downstairs after the walk, signed the assumption-of-risk documents, put on the rock-climbing shoes, got harnessed in, and began the climb. The people in charge there were telling me that it was a good thing that it wasn't at the beginning of the semester since the freshman all invade the wall to try it during their first few weeks of school. Let me tell you, this is a workout for sure. I do a lot of cardio regularly, but I thought my legs would be sore after the intense workouts I did prior to the wall (bike, jog, walk, and two types of stairs in one night). Instead, my arms are still super sore and are making any other pain seem absolutely insignificant at the moment. I even have some bruises as memorabilia badges of my rock-climbing victory. But what an awesome activity!!! When you get to the top and ring the cowbell, you feel like a superhero. They had several other (read: harder--inverted and such) walls and a boulder wall or something like that, so if my new card works, I have some serious goals! At any rate, I was on a high all night and would definitely recommend rock climbing to any of you who want to challenge your upper-body strength. (This isn't me in the picture by the way, but it is a picture of a harder part of the actual wall at the gym).

Can I Make It Through Thanksgiving?

For some reason, the receptionist had not entered my appointment for yesterday in the calendar, so they moved my appointment to after Thanksgiving without apology! Argh! That is a month and a half from my last fill (and I'm still hungry = scary!!!).

BTW, I wanted to tell Amy, Mary, and Melly that I have spoken with Dr. F's office (Amy's doctor). There is a membership charge into the program. It would've worked out really well had I just started with him for my fills because his fills are less than my doc's (and the membership fees would've evened out over time because of that fact and that I probably would've needed less fills with him). But at this stage in the game and with the financial concerns I have at present, I'm going to attempt to continue with my doctor until it becomes unbearable (and too close to the wedding for comfort, which might actually be soon). But going with him was a really good suggestion. And I just wanted to let you guys know the status on that since you've been steering me in that direction. I'll keep you posted on if and when I change if I do.

I appreciate EVERYONE'S comments and advice.

A Jogging Casualty

My poor phone died a tragic death last night. While it had survived a previous instance of exercise-induced phone abuse about a month ago when I was caught outside in the rain far away from home and couldn't reach anyone to pick me up (it, my MP3, and my pedometer actually--they all made it through that almost completely unscathed although my pedometer ceased to operate a couple weeks later when it fell under my vehicle as I was carrying out groceries from Wally World; I now have the watch-variety pedometer, not the clip-on kind), it did not fare so well last night.

The weather has gotten cooler, so I pulled out a jacket I haven't worn in forever. I didn't realize/had forgotten that one of the pockets had ripped stitching all down the side. Anyhow, I was jogging down the street as usual around dusk, and out pops the phone (I bring it with me for safety purposes and for the time--although my new pedometer has a clock function too). I didn't realize that it was gone until I was about a half mile away. I turned around immediately and jogged back--probably faster than I would've normally gone (making lemonade here since there was nothing else good about this situation). I found it in the middle of the road. It had been run over a few times by then. I'm pretty frustrated because the ole financial situation has already taken a beating lately. Argh!!! My fiance was able to retrieve the Sim card and battery, so I hope that they'll work in another phone (I had TONS of numbers saved on there).

Anyhow, I'm trying not to think about it...so to change the subject, I have an appointment scheduled for tomorrow to determine if I need a fill. Well, as you all know, I have personally determined I DO. But the scale evidently has to convince the doctor. I am still able to eat a lot of everything including all types of bread. I am trying to make the best choices and restrict my portions as much as I can and am still exercising religiously (as detrimental as it may be to my personal items). But the nurse said that he will probably not give me one if there is a loss (even a pound or two). He might normally give me a fill with a small loss like that, but since my appointment is only one month since my last fill (which seems typical for everyone else, however), there is less time to lose. Anyhow, I hope my body's not having a good day scale-wise (that's a first) tomorrow. We'll see. Wish me luck!!!

THANK YOU, ANGIE!!!

I LOVE the jeans. They arrived today in a cute package. They fit perfectly, and I don't have any others (except some that have a broken pocket that sticks out akwardly--hard to explain, but, take my word, not so great to wear) at my current size. I really, really appreciate them. I will try to do some pics and post them soon. I can't wait to wear them!!!!

Thanks again!
XOXOXO

Blueberries And Weight Loss

I've told friends this but haven't posted it online. I don't know why I didn't since this is where I turn to discuss all things weight loss, but that questionnaire I just completed made me remember that I need to let the cat (or mice in this case) out of the bag.

Anyhow, several months ago, I heard about a study with mice and blueberries. The experiment group of mice ate blueberries and their regular diet while the control group ate their regular diet (sans blueberries). The experiment group of mice had a statistically significant amount of weight loss. However, the transferrability of the results to humans was unknown at that time.

But still, even though I reported that I like strawberries, perhaps blueberries should be my go-to fruit.

Jumping on the Bandwagon

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZA- a condensed version though :)
Age: 29
Animal: Dogs!
Been in Love: Yes, currently.
Believe in God: Amen! And Jesus too. This doesn't mean I'm perfect though.
Before weight: 204 Highest (weight before pre-op diet).
Candy: Kit Kats and Almond Joys. I also like those Treasures things but haven't had one in years (do they still have them (they're the ones with caramel in the middle))?
Color: The whole rainbow!
Chocolate/Vanilla: Chocolate on chocolate on chocolate!!!
Chinese/Mexican: BOTH!
Cake or pie: Chocolate or strawberry cake! I'm getting hungry!!!
Country to visit: I would honestly just like to go everywhere! Sign me up!
Do the splits?: Actually, I can do one! I didn't realize I still could until a few months back when I was messing around with my friend's cheerleader daughter. I used to could do all of them though. :(
Eggs: Sunny-side up or over easy or eggs benedict or with a lot of cheese...gosh, all these food questions!!!
Eyes: Blue
First thoughts waking up: Evil alarm clock. You and the scale are in cahoots to make my life torture!
Food: Okay, I'm protesting this question. I will start chewing on the keyboard if I don't.
Get Along With Parents? For the most part.
Hair Color: Currently blonde. :)
Holiday: All of them! I'm quite indecisive--colors, places to visit, this! :)
Instrument: the piano and French horn although singing has been more my passion.
Jewelry: I like it big, but I always forget to wear earrings.
Kids: Someday. Me and the man would like a couple at least. Dogs first though. :)
Kickboxing or karate: Never before but would definitely try unless I had to break something with my hand or some other limb. I really don't like that sort of pain.
Keep a journal? Right before I started my blog, I was finishing a diary that I got from my Grandpa a long time ago. I only wrote in it a few times when I was a kid and always wanted to fill the pages. Grandpa died several years ago. And last year--getting the band, getting engaged, etc.--was a very good year to be chronicling, so it worked out nicely. I kind of miss it because I could let it all hang out there.
Longest Car Ride: 16 hours with one stop. I did this a few times when I was in school. But I had to go to the bathroom like you wouldn't believe!!!
Love: My living grandparents. The rest of my family. My wonderful guy; it makes me smile to just think of him. My friends--off and online!
Love at first sight: I met him online and had all the details about him there on the page. The more I read, the more I was enamored! He absolutely fit every single criteria that I was looking for in a guy. There was a compatability test that was shown too, and we were alike on every element. He said that all the matching in every area had not happened to him before online, and I had just joined but didn't see that on any other comparison with anyone else either. I don't know if I believe in LOVE at first sight, but this was as close as I'd ever been. Now had I not known all that info, it might've been different. I don't think that looks alone could ever do it for me. (By the way, when we met, we even had more similarities we uncovered--like being from the same area, knowing the same people, we even both have a medical condition--not serious; don't worry--that is the same and affects the same area). There is so much more, but I could go on forever. I better stop here! :)
Milk flavor: Chocolate but not in a box. Weird, I know.
Movie: Indecisive there too, but I love romance, comedy, action, and even horror. Far and Away is one of my faves.
Marriage: I suggest reading a lot of books about marriage before taking the leap. I have gone through a couple. There is some good info there.
Motion sickness? The last time I went to the fair, the Gravitron thing that spins around in a circle almost did me in. This used to not happen. No more fun now that I'm elderly, I suppose.
McD’s or BK: Both...but I mean it, no more food questions.
Number of Piercings: One in each ear.
Number: 7
One wish: Many more wishes!!!!
Pepsi/Coke: Coke then Diet Pepsi and now water (I've got to get in 3 liters a day--you heard me right--to prevent kidney stones).
Questionnaires: I usually don't partake.
Reality TV: Discover: I Lost It, Big Medicine, XWeighted, and Brookhaven Obesity Clinic; The Biggest Loser; VH1 Trash like Tool Academy, Real Chance of Love, Rock of Love, etc. can unfortunately suck me in--I'm ashamed to admit this really. I also watch TLC's The Duggars and Little Couple and all those Discovery/TLC shows about people with abnormal conditions, which really just makes me sad for them and then sad in general.
Roll your tongue in a circle? Nope, no skills. It took me forever to learn to snap too. And I still can only wink one eye.
Shoe size: 7.5 to 8.
Salad Dressing: It varies--French, Balsamic, Ranch--all low cal.
Skipped school: Only a very little.
Smoking: Never. Allergic.
Sing well?: I've been told I'm pretty good.
Strawberries/Blueberries: Strawberries.
Time for bed: I like to go to bed around 10:30 (not tonight obviously). My grandparents always went to bed right after the news, and I always wanted to emulate them in that. Weird, I know.
Unpredictable: Life.
Vegetable you hate: Squash, Okra, and Onions.
Vegetable you love: Black-eyed Peas, Green Beans, Cauliflower, Cabbage, Mushrooms, and Olives
Vacation spot: the Carribbean; Mackinac Island, Michigan; Europe; Any Place I Haven't Been
Wanted to be a model?: Maybe a little, but I would've rather been an actress or a singer back then. Now I would never want people following me like that, but the extra cash would be nice.
X-Rays: My recent one for the stone where they were worried about what that thing was inside me until they realized that it was my band. Haha. :)
Year it is now: 2009
Yellow: Yellow trash--it was something one of the Simpsons said once when talking about their neighbors--hilarious!
Zoo: Ours recently closed :(.

Happy B-day, Cara!

I'm back to not being able to comment on the posts (my computer issue; argh!). But I wanted to let you know--although it's a day before (your b-day eve) here in the states. :)

I hope you have the best one yet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Happy Halloween!

I just wanted to tell you all, "Happy Halloween" (minus Ozians--is that the correct descriptor, Cara?--to them, have a great regular, average, ordinary, run-of-the-mill, garden variety, standard, normal day :) )!

As for me, I went out for dinner with the man--nothing terrible, don't worry. And then we went downtown and drove around by the water. We saw lots of costumed people hitting the clubs. Last night, we did a haunted tour of the Red Light district downtown. We went on a different haunted tour last year too (there are four different walks/rides that our historical society offers here), so I guess it's become our tradition--at least for the next two years unless they start offering more.

I had a good jog right at sunset today. I just listen to the local stations on my MP3, so I heard Thriller twice while jogging. :) The moon (full--as I'm sure you're all aware) and the sky looked spooky/cool for Halloween from here. And it was low 60's, absolutely fabulous weather for exercise as opposed to the normal 80's (and 90's just a few short weeks ago).

At any rate, I hope everyone in Band Land is having a blast this Halloween (or regular day ;) ) with as little temptation as possible.

Cara, Amy, Lacey, Yana, and Gen (still having computer issues :( )

Thank you all. I have wondered from time to time if it has something to do with the money--more fills equals more money? The doctor has stated that smaller and less frequent fills is a safety issue, but it is strange to me how others almost everywhere else in the world can go in from week to week if needed and not have an issue. In fact, I was told by Dr. Rumbaut's staff (he banded myself and Catherine) that there is no medical reason to inch it up to restriction and that I could fly there and have it done with the flouro (but a plane trip and hotel cost would be a little high--and I would have to answer to the local doc about why I am more filled than last time; he may even decide not to help me anymore--and as Gen said in an earlier post, it's nice having a local doc). At any rate, this is the first time that I have attempted to go in early, and I think my reasons were legit.

Cara: I had .25 put in mine last time.

Amy: I called your doctor after I talked to mine, but the lady was out that I was to speak with about the charge for fills. I am self pay, so I realy have to take that into consideration. I called several places before starting fills that quoted prices. My doctor's was the best price, and I didn't have to pay $900-1500 as a down payment amount for fills or as a consult fee (as a lot of other places charged). The bad thing is that I'm sure I will exceed at LEAST the $1000 mark when all is said and done. And I'm truly not satisfied. But it may be too late to chage since I've paid so much to get to this point. Also, doctors may not like the fact that I've gone through a doctor (actually two if you count my surgeon--though he's not from around here) to add what they might consider a 'problem patient' to their lists. We're in the South, and, let's face it, the 'good ole boy connection' is alive and well too. By the way, I did hear something negative about my doctor from a member of the staff of an obesity center that does not handle lapbands. She said anyone is good but my doctor, but she did not elaborate for professional reasons (though I would like to know why/if the reasons are credible). Unfortunately, this was soon after my first fill. :(

Lacey: I don't know the name of the lady. She wasn't vicious or anything, just resigned to not move forward or listen to the fact that I can eat a horse. I will admit that the 'band as a tool' comment irked me, but it is honestly probably her job to say that. I do know that Dr. Nye has been conservative from the start though. He doesn't ask me any questions really (like about calories consumed, how much I've eaten, etc.--in fact we hardly talk about weight loss at all) unless I've gained (then it's only a little). And I'm so danged timid in there; I've never press his decisions to give me small fills or no fills at all. He is a very conservative fill doctor generally as I understand. In fact, my first question I asked the nurse after I told her how much I'd eaten and about the wedding was questioning what he generally does in those types of situations. She hadn't yet pulled my chart at that point but said that he generally has the patient come in two months after his or her fill (I knew that from previous appointments but didn't tell her that because I wanted to be as nice as possible). I then asked if that meant that I could only keep my current appointment, and she said that the earliest he would see me would be in a month from my last appointment. The nurse said that this is his policy. I went ahead and made that appointment.

Yana: Hi. It's nice to meet you (I don't think we've met). :) I don't know about the nurse training, but I do know that his care is quite different from what I've read about everywhere else. I seriously haven't read of ANYONE going this slow unless the bandster was sensitive to fills and felt restriction early on as a bandster.

Gen: I agree that I could be close to my set point weight (I hope not since I would like to be well within the normal range, but I am a realist). But I would at least like to see if I am, and I don't think I'm getting a fair shot here. If I were eating less and still at this weight, that would be one thing. But I'm eating like a cow in a fattening pen. I'm fluctuating up since my last weight loss progression post (but I don't have the heart to chage the weight back on my post :( ). I've actually really been slacking about wedding planning. The thing that is stressing me out the most about it is this weight-loss-for-pictures thing. I also have a situation with very close family members (at the parent and grandparent levels, I'm sorry to say) who don't want to see one another because of a divorce (and are REALLY trying not to go); of course, since I've been hearing this about them not going to my wedding long before I was ever engaged, I've gotten to the point that it's not too disturbing--I can't control their actions even though I think they're being selfish. But thank you about the groom; I think he will be happy with how I look even if I'm already where I'll ultimately land. Even though wedding planning isn't too much of an anxiety factor yet (though I'm sure it will be later since I'm procrastinating), I am a bit stressed about some other things, which could be leading to more food intake. But I just can't seem to shake why I should still be able to eat this much no matter if I'm stressed. Does that make sense? Thanks for all that you wrote. You really put some time into that, and I appreciate it. :)

Called The Doc's Office For Another Fill...

As you know, I have been distressed about my weight stagnation (and even little gain) and called the doctor's office after reading your comments and a couple more bad days. I explained my situation (upcoming wedding, etc) including the fact that I ate 3000 calories worth of food yesterday (and they weren't sliders--who is able to do that after being banded? That is completely where I was before being banded, but I feel hungry all the time, have a few things going on in my life, etc. and though I know I shouldn't eat that much, if I don't have anything to stop me--willpower is getting VERY old after 10 months--what am I to do?). The receptionist told me that the absolute soonest that they would do a fill would be a month from my last one (three weeks away)--and even then they could not guarantee that I would get a fill. They said that if I have gained, he MIGHT do one because his policy is usually two months. So I am incentivized to NOT exercise then? I just can't do that. The receptionist even reminded that the band is a tool, which was annoying to hear after knowing that I have been working so hard myself (and it seems sometimes like it is all me) all these months. Again, I'm not eating a lot of sliders or junk, am not drinking empty calories since being banded, and am still exercising religiously, so how am I not trying to do my part here? Argh!!! It just makes me frustrated.

What am I eating: mainly chicken and fish. I ate eight fish fillets (good sized too) in a ROW yesterday. I had three chicken Lean Cuisine meals and one salisbury steak meal. I had a roasted chicken breast sub (foot long). I had cereal (just one bowl) and a protein bar for breakfast. I had several pieces of lunch meat (turkey) throughout the day to try to fill me up and some vegetables. I had about six regular-sized pickles (not spears) before bed. As you can see, a lot of that was protein. Shouldn't it be making me full if this thing is doing its job?

I just really want to get this weight off soon. Should it have taken 10 months to get to just a little over 30 pounds? Some people lose that (or more) in their first month out! There will be pictures before the wedding, and I need this gone for those too. I'm pretty bummed. :(

Dear Gen, Amy, Angie, Cara, Liz, Mary, and Everyone Else:

I am having some issues posting comments on others' pages (or opening the comments to even read them) from my stinkin' computer here lately. But I have to get some things out there because there have been some great blog posts lately!

I first wanted to say congrats on all of your goals being met!!!! You are all incredible ladies and such great motivators.

Second, Amy, I have some of those little undies. They're incredible. And it must be a Pensacola thing, but I have done Taco Bell the last two days too. I am usually not a tacoholic, so what is up with that? Also, how long has it been since your last fill? Did they give you any flack for moving your appointment up?

My doctor only does my fills every two months (if he feels I need one), but I'm truly not near my sweet spot yet...after 10 months. I'm am eating like a walrus (I guess they eat a lot???). I got my first (very tiny) fill since July on Monday but have eaten lots of pasta (wheat, but still), meat, Taco Bell, hamburgers (with the bun), chicken nuggets (bad choice but don't do this usually), etc. since then. In fact, there really isn't much that my band won't tolerate, and I am always hungry. I don't get full really. I am eating over 2000 calories a day (MOST of the time these are non-slider foods; I don't eat chips or candy or ice cream with the exception of some chocolate every few days). Is anyone else that consuming that many calories? I have see 900 (or less) - 1500 for most everyone who has been brave enough to report their calories here. If I eat 1700-1800, I feel like I'm being completely being deprived. Forget the small portions or waiting several hours between meals. I get hungry in an hour or so after eating a big meal. I wonder if this has something to do with me starting off at a lower BMI and not having as much of the fat pad initially (so maybe I need more fill to shrink down the pouch-making area)?? But still, to distinguish my situation (and I really hope Catherine doesn't mind me comparing), I am at 2.25 cc's in my band as of this Monday, and Catherine, who has the same band as mine (correct me if I'm wrong) has been at 2.85 cc's since around March (only a few months after her surgery) and was at 2.25 (where I'm at now) or 2.0 just a couple months after sugery (I didn't get to 2.0 until mid-July). I was banded in December. She was banded in October. So should I not at least be at the 2.85 mark since it has been five months since the equivalent day (because it has been seven for her) that she was filled to that point of restriction? I know that everyone is different and has different adjustments that work for them, but with all the food intake issues I am having, I believe that there has been no reason to inch along so slowly. When I have gotten a fill, it's only been because I've gained or remained the same weight for several months. I sometimes feel that my exercise is what has gotten me to losing what I have and that if I stopped moving, the weight would come piling back on my body. I don't want to stop walking/jogging just to gain weight to get a fill though??? And I got this surgery to help with the willpower issues of eating AND improve my fitness. Why can't I do both? And what happens if I have to sacrifice a little exercise for a few months of stressful work, wedding planning, etc.? Then what? Will I balloon back up before the wedding (since I'm not at my sweet spot)? I always wimp out about petitioning for fills when I see my doctor because he seems so authoritative. It is hard to have any sort of heart to heart. That probably has something to do with our personalities. But I want to fit into a dream wedding dress and have the perfect day with no regrets next year, so I really want this weight off, off, off. My next appointment (not necessarily a fill since he likes to wait and see how things progress) isn't until December. Does anyone have any suggestions on how to get him to get the ball moving? I am really putting myself out there and want workable suggestions badly, but please be nice. :)

Next, Liz, I'm glad you had fun in Arkansas. Thanks for sharing your pictures too. BTW, does your family live close to the Duggars? They are a huge family on TLC (if you haven't heard of them previously). I know that they are from Arkansas. Random question, I know. :)

Finally, Gen, PREACH ON SISTA!!! Bread is in The Bible. I loved that!!! Actually, that was a super great post about carbs and serotonin. I learned a lot and realize why I thrive on pasta (although I've bee trying to do more of the wheat variety--it takes a bit to get used to it, so I can definitely see why the kids are having problems there). I wonder if chocolate is a carb (I crave it a LOT too and know a lot of women do)??? Does anyone know? I am keeping all of that info stored in my arsenal and may even need it for ammunition if the food police ever come a-knockin' about any carb intake issues they might think I have. Oh, and you mentioned cereal as bad. I didn't know that all of it was a bad sort of carb. Are there kinds that are good??? I try to get the kinds that are higher in fiber. I have one of the Kashi brands with strawberries in it, and (though I know, I know) I sometimes eat the chocolate mini wheats to get some of my chocolate craving out of my system (but didn't think it was terrible because the box says that it is high in fiber too--especialy since I thought it would be the best way to satisfy that craving). What gives here?

By the way, I wasn't eating breakfast (see Catherine's post about the skinny girl's secret), but I started to get so hungry what with lack of fill, etc. that I had to give in finally. Did I mention I need a fill??? Hhhheeeelllpppp!!!!!!!

Attention Bandsters

This is an informal information gathering for me, not of any sort of real reliability or validity. But if you have been banded a while, I am curious as to what the last time in your life was when you were at the weight you are now? Please let me know how many months or years you are out from surgery, if you are at or near goal, and when was the last time--about how old you were and the date, if you don't mind--that you were that weight. Other info, like heights and weights from now and in the past, dramatic weight increases/decreases in your life, or any other info you feel like sharing are interesting to me too if you are comfortable sharing anything else.

Why I am asking: for myself. I am curious if I'll be closer to where I was in late middle school/early high school (pretty skinny but still in the normal range), the middle of high school (middle to high normal range), late high school (perhaps a little overweight), or soon after HS (still definitely overweight though there were two periods when I lost a bit) when I get to a stopping point in my journey. I am getting gradually nearer to where I was in high school (but have a little ways to go). I know the journey is different for everyone, but I was kind of wondering if there were any commonality in stopping points in each of our personal histories (for instance, getting back to where we were around age 15), a set-point weight of sorts. I know this sounds a little odd and grasping, but it is something that I have wondered for a while. I would at least like to know where people fall even if it lacks any predictive value for my own weight loss.

THANK YOU!!!!

No More Chicken Skin

Quick post: I can't eat chicken skin with the band. I used to (and still do) love it rotisserie style. It's my favorite part. I have had major issues the few times I've eaten skin this summer. Tonight was probably the worst of those. Strange enough, this is one of the few things I have issues eating.

Revving Up the Engine Again and Looking Forward

Although I had been walking my three miles during most of the kidney stone ordeal, I had not been doing my usual jog/walk. But I am getting myself going again and have jogged three times since then. Twice I have jogged at least a mile. Tonight I did 1.32 miles at one time, the most since the KS (and another .75 miles of jogging too). :) The other time (of the three) I attempted jogging, I didn't fare so well. I made the mistake of jogging one day around noon last week and could only get up to a measly 1/4th of a mile. I use the word 'mistake' because it is still blisteringly hot here. I did the remaining miles walking and had to sit down beside the road three times because I was feeling sick and lightheaded. Never have I had to do that previously, not even once. It was so embarrassing! There was some neighbor with a cowboy hat staring at me sitting down on the sidewalk, and it seemed like every car in town came down that road while I was sitting. I am pretty certain the nausea and faint feelings were because of the heat. I have only felt that way twice before when jogging--the 5K day and one other day I jogged around 1-2 pm. I was so glad to make it home that day last week (I was far away when the issues began). At any rate, from here on out, I'm going to try to exercise outdoors in the mornings or evenings in the summers.

Also, I have updated my side-panel with my weight loss (will try to do my ticker soon). I haven't done that in a while. I am down to 168.4 pounds. This is the lowest I've weighed on this journey and is 35 pounds down (exactly). I have a few upcoming weights that are important:

1) 165.4 (three more pounds)--HALF WAY to goal;
2) 163.4 (five more pounds)--FORTY pounds gone;
3) 162ish (six more pounds)--20% of body weight shed;
4) 159 (a little less than ten pounds)--NORMAL range;
5) 153.4 (fifteen more pounds)--FIFTY pounds gone;
6) 152ish (sixteen more pounds)--ONE FOURTH of body weight shed!

Weight Loss Shows and Me

I have been watching some weight loss shows lately. I am a total sucker for them and drive my fiance nuts because I watch them all the time :).

On a show about obesity on Discovery Health with Dr. Oz, I learned that my waist should be at least half of my height. I have looked this up on different sites today though, and I'm seeing other types of tests for this: for instance, a one size-fits-all approach of 29-30 inches for women. But let's use the Dr. Oz method: I am 5'7, so that is 67 inches. Divided in half, I figured that my waist should be 33.5 inches. I am around 35 inches right now, so I'm getting to that target. Hey, I can always work my way to those other goals after I break through to 33.5.

On another show called "I Lost It!," I heard something that really captured one of the main reasons I had WLS. The woman stated that she was "looking at [her] life from now until [she] die[s] and thinking about how horrible life would have been dealing with those issues of weight loss forever." That is something that I never articulated myself, but it holds true for me too. I have been battling my weight for too long already and don't want to be dealing with it for the rest of my life. What kind of life would that be? There are already so many things out there that we want but can't have...I am so glad that I can have my health!

The Relationship Between the Lapband and Kidney Stones

So I went to the urologist yesterday to bring in my stone for examination. The urologist told me that weight loss surgeries increase the likelihood of kidney-stone formation because of lack of absorption. However, the band is the least of the evils of all the WLS's as far as kidney stones go. But still. :( If a person has a predisposition at all for kidney stones, the band makes it more likely that they will form. He said that a lot of surgeons doing WLS don't really cover the relationship between WLS and kidney stone formation with patients.

Drinking water, cranberry juice, etc. (not caffeine though--that's counterproductive)--see Amy W.'s post from a few week's ago--is one of the best things to do as far as prevention goes. Based on the examination of my specific stone, I will have other dietary habits to implement to prevent these puppies.

Oh, but two good things--1) I didn't have a catheter done yesterday, and 2) he said that my stone was nasty looking (I needed some validation--and since it is out, it can't hurt me anymore).

The Biggest Loser

Does anyone else watch it? I have for most of the seasons and am planning to tonight. I would like to lose along with the contestants (I have said that every season :) ).

The difference is that I want to keep my weight off, not just lose it for a brief time period. It's, of course, not that the contestants don't want this maintenance too, but what's sad to me is that you later hear or see that the contestants gain their hard-lost weight back after the show. :( It would be so great to lose that much and maintain goal weights like the contestants achieve. Maybe they should have the contestants banded two weeks before the show starts. :)

No Longer Stoned (Kidney Stoned That Is)

Today was Day 20 of KSH (Kidney Stone Hades). As the days passed, the pain became more intense. At first it was just uncomfortable. Then it began to feel catheterish (like getting catheter after catheter all day long). More recently it was like I had a teensy porcupine burrowing in my urethra. I was thinking about going to the doctor and asking to get this thing blasted out (people with bigger stones have some kind of ultrasonic thing done or have surgical removal) or begging for some meds that were band friendly and that wouldn't knock me out like the really strong stuff I was prescribed--I like to be coherent.

I had already been reading tons of home remedies and incorporated drinking lots of lemonade and had some other items on hand too like grape juice (it is a high-citrate drink that is good for passing KS's apparently). I read about drinking a six pack of Coke and blended asparagus which you mix with your saliva (gee-ross) and an Apple Cidar Vinegar concoction (I bought the apple cidar vinegar too). The crazy remedy I tried this AM (that really could have been the kicker for me since it passed tonight) was drinking two ounces each of extra virgin olive oil and straight lemon juice. The mixture was really disgusting and probably had a day's worth of calories in it. I about threw up at the sink because of its utter nastiness. While I think it was this lovely beverage that did the trick, I was drinking some of my grape juice (light grape juice) for the first time when it passed this evening, so that may have helped it along too.

However it happened, I passed at least part of my fun friend this evening. I am not 100% that there are no fragments left inside because I feel a little sore down there still though I can lie on both sides and don't have the intense pain like before. It could just be that I am swollen from it hanging around my insides for a while (hopefully).

But I think at least most of the danged thing is G-O-N-E! And I am SOOOO happy. I feel like I could revert back to my cheerleader days. I thought it would be there forever; I was so jealous of the people whose came out in one or two weeks (tomorrow/Tuesday night would have been three!). And I don't have to drink any more lemonade. I've never been tired of it before like I am now. Plus, all this lemonade has surely been a weight-loss impediment even though most of it was light. And on the weight front, I've gained a few pounds during this ordeal. I haven't been jogging at all and even stopped walking entirely the last few days because it's been too painful to move.

The bad thing is that preventing kidney stones directly involves one's diet and will take away from band-friendly foods and foods I love. They will examine my stone and tell me what not to eat. But a lot of times the general things to avoid are many types of dairy, meat, beans, chocolate, and even strawberries. There are lots of others though most veggies and fruits seem to be okay. But now I have to try to get even more creative (or limited--argh) with my food options. This is already somewhat difficult with the band alone. Any suggestions?

Oh, just FYI, Mr. Kidney Stone was mean looking when he emerged (he is a mister because guys are meaner than girls as we can all attest :) ). He had spikes on one part and was pointy and jagged and long. Shudder, shudder, and thank goodness I'm free!!!!!

(BTW, I have been on vacation from blogging for a while because of all the KS drama (and some other life events--will catch you up on those later). It has been increasingly hard to concentrate on anything with all this pain! But I hope I'm back now.)

Outside My Comfort Zone: Being Full and Being Filled

I have a fill scheduled for today. I have been stressing about it a little for the past couple of weeks. I haven't lost any weight in about two weeks exactly, so that is probably why. I'm sitting at 176.0 pounds as my absolute lowest weight (although I've hit it a few times, I can't break into any digits starting with 175).

I feel like I can eat okay amounts of food where I'm at right now but am hungry fairly soon after I eat and can still eat whatever I want (pasta, bread, etc.--although not super quickly or anything). Just as a reference for what I eat: I have been going back and forth--eating and not--at breakfast time (please see Catherine's interesting blog about not eating breakfast). I have a microwavable meal for lunch Monday through Thursdays (usually eat out the other three afternoons--or at the VERY least will eat out one of them). I will have a meal or two (I know!) at night consisting of different things. Last night, I had part of a sausage link (a big one) and shells and cheese then I had a big bowl of cereal later. Other nights, I'll eat leftovers or whatever is left in a doggy bag and then make something else on top of that. I have been PBing a little (about once or twice a week if that), but it is mainly because I let myself get too hungry and shovel the food down like it's going to disappear if I don't get it all down the pipes asap. (Obviously having snacks around is something I need to work on (especially at work where I am starving in the afternoons and take out my frustrations in a supper consisting of bad-for-me foods, too much food, or both--I'm not nearly as tight at night!)). So this brings me back to the fill situation...I worry about getting a fill that is so tight that I won't be able to get down protein and, instead, will replace it with milkshakes or something terrible like that. I don't want too tight of a fill, and I began thinking that maybe I shouldn't get one at all.

With that in mind, I was reading Shagg's blog today. She expressed some of the same concerns I did about the band. It seems that we both want to continue being able to eat foods that are good for us without serious issue but, at the same time, not get hungry soon after we eat. Well, on her blog, someone commented that we got this band for a reason. If it is too comfortable, then maybe it isn't serving the purpose for which it was intended. The poster wrote: "#1.. about your band.. If you are comfortable and happy with the way your band is functioning, perhaps that is the problem.. You are finding it only too easy to eat bigger portions and the wrong food.. We all got this band for one thing, and that is to help us lose the weight. So, with your band just sitting in there not really doing anything to help you, is pointless.. See about getting it tightened just a tiny bit.. Tell the new band doctor about how long you have been hovering at this weight, and you want it dealth with." That poster's suggestion was to get a tiny fill and see. With that in mind, I think I will be petitioning for a fill this afternoon. I need to get outside the comfort zone.

Thank You's All Around

Thank you to everyone for all your comments and well wishes. For an update, the stinkin' stone hasn't passed yet. They gave me a lovely strainer to use to catch it. I am terrified every time I go Number 1. Have you guys seen pictures of kidney stones? From the pictures I saw online, they look horrible and super scary--jagged edges, thistlely, pointy, yeeoouucchhh! :( I really shouldn't have looked. Still, I do want it gone because it is very uncomfortable--not as painful since it's in a different part of my system but still very uncomfortable.

Pictures Sent and Good Luck, Coloradomom

I sent all four of you who emailed me (I think I got everyone) some before and during pictures. I think I put 'after' on the pictures, but they are truly during. The most recent ones were ten pounds (well, eleven, but who's counting? :) ) ago. If I missed you or you din't receive them, please let me know.

Coloradomom, good luck and congrats! Also, I am with Amy W.--I can't see the blog and really want to read it. I was banded (same day, same place) with another mother from Colorado. :) Keep us posted on how everything goes!!!! We are thinking about you.

Emergency-Room Adventures

I went to the ER (for myself) when I was four but don't remember anything about it. But other than to be there with friends and family, I've not had any personal experiences there....until last night/this morning. I really would have been fine had my trend of ER absence continued, but at least I have some answers I've been looking for all year.

My stomach has hurt pretty bad four times this year beginning with one severe instance in January. Two of the instances were in April. And then there was last night, the worst instance of all. I was unable to get a picture of my stomach in January, had an ultrasound done in April without anything showing up on it, and had a CATSCAN done last night. The pain I have felt (in my lower right abdominal quadrant) has been markedly similar on each instance I've had it and has been accompanied by naseau, vomiting, and constipation. It has occurred around my TOM each time as well, and it has all been after WLS. I naturally assumed in Jauary that it was related to the banding. Now it looks like it's probably not (thankfully!!).

Last night, the pain started in the evening and just kept going and going. I began throwing up a few hours in to add more excitement to the goings on. And oh, as some of you are all too aware, throwing up with the band is no joy ride. Holy toledos, Nelly! I was having to stand up and bend down almost to my toes to upchuck anything--and hardly anything was coming out even doing that. The trash can was the best receptacle for this type of throwing up since the toilet was too high. At any rate, this is not a position I like to be in too much even when I'm not sick, so adding a hurt tummy to the mix made things almost unbearable. I had eaten (TMI alert!) Mexican last night, so I had some killer breath and was quite rank otherwise after all of that. The only thing that was partially soothing was lying in the tub with my legs on the wall. I did this in intervals without any consistentcy in relief, the positions I would sit, or the undertaking itself.

My wonderful fiance talked me into going and took me to the hospital (and was so sweet in every imaginable way--although I didn't show him too much love when, before we left, he kept trying to take my temp and sweetly rub my arms and such--I wanted to be left ALONE and kept grunting at the poor guy). I was barely able to put on a brazierre and smelled as rank as they come before we left. I was thinking all night before his insistence in going finally won out that it might just be a virus or bad cramping post banding (before being banded, the first time I ever had my period (13 or thereabouts), I also threw up--first and only time that this had happened until this year). I also didn't want to have any fluid taken out of my band, which has just started showing me real restriction; I thought fluid removal would be inevitable.

At the hosptial, I threw up several times in a bucket the staff gave me in the lobby (in front of all the folks in the waiting room--lovely!), and went through a series of checks and interrogations from what seemed like every person that works in the multi-building campus! They wouldn't allow my fiance to answer for me--protocol, I guess? The nurse put the IV in my arm and took blood. Because I was on my period last night, I had my first catheter experience as well. All these wonderful firsts!!! The nurse told me that I just needed to relax. Like heck! Getting a catheter was so not the type of feeling I get when I'm, say, sitting on the porch sipping tea and watching the sunset! Argh! Finally, after all of the waiting and what seemed like forever, I get some drugs--oh sweet mother's milk (sounds like something Amy W. has or would say :) ). They were amazing! The naseau and pain both subsided. That was great to me because I thought I would have to wait a few more hours for a gastrointestinal doctor to be called to take out some fill (again, that was one of the big reasons I waited as long as I could stand it not to go--because I want to lose weight for the wedding, not go back and forth in weight loss limbo with fill removals and additions).

Then, on to the CAT. A gastric-bypass patient did my CAT. She looked great and has lost tons of weight since her surgery in February (I felt good enough to notice others at that point). She was so sweet and shared all her details with me. It's nice to be able to talk to someone in the flesh (not that I don't love my online buddies too) about WLS since so few know. I have to tell medical personnel because any privacy misgivings are completely trumped by my desire for optimal medical care.

When we got the CAT results, they showed that I had a kidney stone. I believe that we just didn't catch the other suckers in a picture earlier this year as they had moved out already (or were camera shy). The doctor said that people who have one typically report others later and that they tend to see the same people back for them again and again. Super! At least next time I'll leave for the hospital ASAP since they aren't taking any fill out and since I know I need drugs and will have to go through interrogation checkpoints. I just hope I can avoid the catheter if I have to do it again--just remembering it is terrible. Well, after I got my scrips, the fiance rolled me out in the wheelchair (he was getting better at that from the beginning of the night when he was moving that thing like an Olympic running champ--that doesn't feel good when you are in the chair) to insurance and then to the vehicle. He was able to get my scrips for me at the pharmacy.

I've been on drugs and have a filter to catch the stone in if I can. I had to miss work today...probably tomorrow too. I don't know about after that but do know I have tons of drugs to take. I'm almost too exhausted to keep looking at the computer screen, so I have to end this here. I hope I feel better next time I post and that all this is history then.

One final thing, my fiance is heaven sent. I truly believe that. He is amazing! He had to miss work too today because of everything last night/this AM. He has been helping take care of me since too. I am so blessed he is in my life. :)

Two Co-Workers Noticing (Finally)

Well, the title says it all. One female co-worker noticed my weight loss on Friday, and a male co-worker noticed today. They are the first that have said anything here other than the client last week and my co-worker/friend who knows about the surgery (who I ask). I think I am either in the zone where people start to see a difference or that my recent clothing selections are making my weight loss more apparent.

As a side note, the new lowest number on the scale is 176.4. That is 27 pounds down (though I'm averaging about 178-179 on the scale).

And, as far as the pictures, I will send them soon. Sorry about that, you guys. I have been super busy.

Attention Panhandbandsters

Amy agreed to what Mary mentioned in her post about Lacey and she talking about all of us getting together. Yes, I meant to make that sound middle schoolish--no real reason other than that I'm childish. :) And I am SO in favor of us getting up one day doing a 5K, movie, lunch, whatever. (Disclaimer: I will still probably eat more than you all (not at the sweet spot yet)--especially if you want to get up at night when I eat like a horse--but it would be really nice (if we ate) not worrying whether you all are wondering why I act like a freak of nature when I eat, stopping and having the pained look on my face at certain intervals. Hahaha! :) ). Does anyone have any suggestions for what, where, and when?

Anyhow, reading Mary's post was really weird because just last night I was thinking about all of us meeting up since we are all in the same general area. I feel like all of these great people are stuck in the computer, and I need to pull them out! I wish everyone could get together. :( But everyone is invited to whatever we decide if you can make it. And I won't even wear my black box over my face, Amy! :)

BTW, all you legit bandsters (or future bandsters) out there, if you would like to see pics of me, give me your email addresses. My being an incognita senorita is more for those people that are non-bandsters in my life--judgmental/blabbery friends and family, random clients, that sort of thing. It has just been my choice to keep this very personal and private, and I'm very happy with that choice at the moment. I don't have a lot of good 'befores' and 'durings' though but can send what I have.

Oh, one more IMPORTANT thing...I don't think I've yet told anyone, "Thanks for reading my blog." I LOVE reading everyone else's blogs. It is one of the highlights of my day. I'm glad you all are sharing your adventures, bandster tricks, and advice with me. I'm so appreciative that you are also letting a piece of my life into yours. I am past the point of comparing my weight with others--I'm the SLOWEST LOSER. Heehee. That's okay (right now :) ). But losing slowly truly doesn't make me any less excited for everyone's victories and frustrated at everyone's frustrations. I really want us all to succeed at this (and in those other life events and struggles that we mention here too). At any rate, I am so glad I started following everyone's blogs and then mustered up the courage to create my own. You all are amazing, and Cara's slogan that her friends are in her computer really sums up this experience for me. THANK YOU!!!!

Eight-Month Bandiversary Yesterday and Mini-Goals

I didn't even realize that what with all the exciting weight loss that I was exactly eight months out yesterday. Maybe I'll have equally exciting news on the ninth, tenth, eleventh, and year bandiversaries too!

My mini goals are 1) to be able to EASILY fit into all my old Size 15's (I think/hope I have about 10 pounds--maybe less?--to get there); 2) to be considered 'normal' (159 pounds for me) sometime soon; 3) to EASILY fit into all my VERY old Size 13's (the last time I did this was after some weight loss in 2002/2003--don't know how much I weighed though???); and 4) to get to my surgeon's goal of 145. By the way, I added a caloric expenditure and intake link on my page. It helps you scientifically determine how much you need to eat/exercise to lose weight using your BMR (different than your BMI). You can even plug in goal weight numbers to see what you will need to be doing to maintain at that point.

Also, I weighed myself after my walk (didn't jog) last night (saw another bunny--what is up with that?) and this AM (when I'm the lowest), and the scale is now showing 177.8. I know that is only .2 pounds down from 178, but still, I love seeing the 177. :)

Twenty-Five Pounds G-O-N-E!

As of this AM, I was down to my lowest weight yet of 178 pounds (80.9 kg). That is a 27.9 BMI. And it is a really big deal to me too because that is also 25 pounds down!

It seems like my new-found restriction may be working--and I have another fill coming up soon; there is a possibility that it will get me where I need to be. Either way, at least I'm losing lately (and my TOM doesn't even begin until next week--it is usually only after then that I lose at all; I hope I don't NOT lose then though???).

Oh, and in keeping with our new traditions, this fish (yes, another fish--sorry, Catherine) is 25 pounds (the girl is not me :) ).

And here is my 25-pound road mark. :)

***BTW, good luck on your fill, Lacey...hopefully, that one will get you where you need to be.

Getting Out There

It has been few and far between when people have noticed my weight loss. I see the same people weekly (even daily), so that might be a part of it. ??? I also wear clothes that aren't very fitted. Too, I think that maybe a 20-pound loss when a person is heavier may not be as noticeable (depending on the person) unfortunately. For instance, I told my cousin last week that I had lost a little over 20 pounds, and she couldn't believe the pounds lost. And the inverse may be true too. She told me that she hasn't lost hardly any poundage (though inches) even though she exercises on the elliptical everyday before college (she is 18). At 130 pounds, she looks really good compared to her shape before exercising (not that I didn't envy her look then too! :) ). I couldn't believe that she hadn't lost weight.

But this morning, just a couple hours before my lunch break (which is now :) ), I had a client who asked about me 'losing a lot of weight' recently. On top of not many people noticing (only about five at most), no one has said ANYTHING that would indicate that it looks like I lost more than a little weight. Neat-o!

But like I said, I really haven't gotten out there much to see people. I guess I'm waiting until I can make a really good impression with more weight loss. I do have my significant other's work party in December but may even linger longer at Wal-Mart and other places just to run into people if I can lose enough. :)

Walking My Shoes Off

Actually, I didn't go that far or anything tonight. Though it was a little further than the usual 3 miles (4.75 total to be exact), I didn't hardly jog at all. Still, my shoes started breaking on the bottom. It started with the underside of the right one. By the end of my walk, the underside of the left one was gone too. While I usually keep shoes forever, I have just started chunking worn-out tennis shoes since I need good ones if I'm going to continue to exercise frequently. Thankfully, I have a back-up pair (though they aren't new or anything). Well, at least the pair I broke tonight got some good wear out of them. :)

I'm Down Under

...no, not in Australia, Cara and Miss Dee. Heehee :). I'm down under 180 lbs.--179.2 to be exact. That is about 2 lbs. under my most recent lowest weight to date. And this is 1 lb. from 25 lost! I don't care if I'm not at 25 lbs. yet (at least not right now); I loved seeing close to 2 pounds gone at one time. It is nice to finally have some restriction (I might otherwise think it was all exercise-related loss, but I have been MIA from that for a couple days this week and didn't have the motivation to really push the pavement in the last two day's jog/walks either--I got out there and did my three miles total but didn't adhere to goals or try overly hard; now I'll have more motivation to go further in the jogs. :) ).

I'm now wondering if maybe the higher weight at the end of this past weekend was the roadmark precursor to more weight loss. I know others of you have mentioned this happening, and it has happened to me too in past weight losses--where we gain before we lose.

One good thing about this loss (other than the obvious--weight loss! :) ) is that I didn't have to wait until after my TOM (as usual) to shed a couple pounds. I probably need to get more scientific about this weigh-in stuff since I'm actually losing (this honestly didn't happen until I started exercising in April-ish--and my surgery was in December!) and have a weekly weigh-in day (though I haven't decided to do that for sure yet).

I can't wait until I get to my sweet spot. My next fill appointment is early September, a little earlier than normal--fills are usually at exactly two months after the last fill (not my choice!)--because my doc is going out of town. He has the discretion NOT to fill too (the nurse told me that when I lost 10 lbs. in two months a couple of months ago; compared to some people, that doesn't seem like a lot, but he didn't fill me then :( ). But, hopefully, I will continue to see results with more of a fill then!!!

Shaking Things Up (And Feeling It)

This week has been extremely busy for me, and I haven't yet been able to do my usual jog/walk in the evenings as a result. It has also been super HOT, so it's kind of good that I haven't been out dealing with all of that!!! I hate being super sweaty--even though I know that I am going to sweat anyways during workouts, I would rather minimize it with a running fan holder or something (anyone want to volunteer?). Seriously, I don't mind treadmill running for that reason when it's hot outside. Unfortunately I don't live in a place where there is a free onsite gym available like I did in law school. :( And I don't like the thought of paying for gym memberships just to avoid the sweat factor, especially since I'm trying to save money--and outside jogging/walking is truly more interesting anyway since there is more happening out there (and it's often pretty with general scenery and that). I just can't justify the cost of gym membership. But if I had a treadmill at home, I would have all sorts of fans blowing at it. As far as I see it, sweat is just water weight anyway, so it's not like the biggest sweat producer is the biggest calorie burner or anything. This doesn't mean I don't work hard and push myself when I jog (or do other workouts, for that matter). I just want to be as cool as possible.

Though I'm planning to go for the usual jog/walk tonight, I have had a lot of variations in the workout regimen this week. When I was out of town this weekend, I did the Wii short run (2 times), long run (2 times), and Island long run (once). Then I did the beginning and advanced step game (2 times each). I got the top scores for all of them and, though I entered my height and stepped on the game scale for my weight and such, I had to have Michael Jackson as my icon picture and name because he was all that was available (and I don't know how to create my own)! :) So Michael Jackson was the winner, I guess. (Side note: I really want a Wii myself for the Wii Fit (I loved using it!), but it is out of the budget at the moment. :( ) Sunday night when I got home (since I had gained and hadn't done anything besides the Wii over the weekend), I did a dance Crunch video. Ever heard of the Crunch series? I have several videos/DVD's (had them for a while). They have dance, Pilates, yoga, bootcamp, abs, cardio, and all sorts of other workouts. I find them fairly challenging. At any rate, while I felt fine Sunday night, the next morning until yesterday (all day), I was holding onto walls, railings, whatever to get down stairs, etc. In the bathroom, I NEEDED railings. I was seriously sore. It didn't even feel like I was doing that much when I was working out, but I guess I was working different muscles than normal. Oh, and I neglected to mention that I did all of that (all the Wii workouts and the video) on Sunday, so maybe the vigor of that day was catching up with me. Whatever the case, YOWSERS, I hurt!!!

The Undercover Killer :)

(on the picture there is what you use for the step workout and what you use to weigh yourself)

Monday night, I did another Crunch video--Burn and Firm Pilates. I couldn't do all the lower squatting things they did or jumping because my legs were killing me, but I did get through the video. It probably even helped me because I was able to stretch my legs and my body some--though I was feeling the burn part of 'Burn and Firm Pilates' for sure!!! I have been a little sore in upper back and upper legs for about a week anyway (don't know why???), but adding the new variations on Sunday, I felt like someone had beat the heck out of me all the way up my legs and back.

I was visiting some family in town on Tuesday and Wednesday nights but was able to swim with them last night (in addition to almost winning Mario Brothers--the first game--got to Level 8 and had one hammer brother and the big dragon thing until I saved the princess; ARGH! I'm not a video gamester girl or anything, but I've never won that game although it was my generations' big gift to video games). So back to swimming, I don't remember swimming ever being that difficult. Holy Cow! I was panting and breathing hard but hardly did any laps or anything. What gives? I feel like I am completely out of shape but have been walking/jogging 3 miles several times a week for a few months now. What the devil?! The swimming wasn't even supposed to be a 'workout'!

Aside from the unintended water exercise, I did keep track of my steps with the pedometer and logged over 6 miles on Sunday but only a little over 1 and 1/2 miles on Monday (with a 50-minute video; I think that the lunging and such, while burning, take away from the overall steps). At any rate, even though I was inside (with fans and A/C on super cool), I was sweating like a racehorse. Maybe I just sweat a lot?

The Skinny Sister

I mentioned my younger sister in a post yesterday. Just as a preface and perhaps a segueway from that post to this one, I forgot to mention that I was as small as her only when I was in middle school (to avoid the confusion that perhaps I gained the weight since high school and was a beanstalk like her ten years ago--since there is a decent-size age difference between us). In other words, in high school, both my older sister and myself weren't the tiny girls like my younger, skinny sister (SS) definitely was (and still is post-high school). We were probably a little overweight then, not obese and just under obese like now, but definitely not beneath normal weights like the SS is.

She is very, very thin. She doesn’t have an eating disorder or any other problem; she’s just thin, my height (5'7) and thin. In today’s world, people love and envy that. Heck, I got a band to head in a thinner direction. I will NEVER get to where she is (113 pounds at 5'7–underweight at 17.7 BMI; I just did a BMI calculation) even with my band friend, but it is difficult to have this continuous, unattainable reminder of not having to worry about weight (or looks at all–she is quite beautiful too). What I would give!

If you can believe it, this is a closely accurate

(albeit cartoon) depiction.

(I've heard that Barbies, etc. can't look like humans

based on body proportions, but,

generally, this is what she looks like--yes, hair color and length too!!!).

I love my younger sister a lot, but sometimes the extra attention for her being so 'skinny' and 'thin' grates my nerves. She already has the advantage of the great genes there. But people are forever commenting on that. They are probably wondering why her older sisters have let themselves go or overeat like they must assume we do–not completely inaccurate there, but the SS eats things in quantities and varieties that aren’t exactly healthful either–as most skinny people do, aggravating as it is. Now, to be fair, she doesn’t hoard food or pack extra in to fill her reserves for later (like animals with a second stomach–me and the older sister seem to do that). It is still maddening though.

People are also always thrusting food at her and commenting on how she needs to eat more too. She does eat; I see it! And often! On a recent trip with my SS and mom (and some other non-family members), people were doing that in abundance. I was the one who was, in fact, eating less and skipping meals/snacks/food in general (partly because of the band). I felt like no one was really paying attention to anything except the fact that the SS is little. For instance, no one seemed to notice or even mention my eating patterns, and I was eating about half to two-thirds of what she was. Maybe they were just thinking that I would survive because I draw on the fat stores already available (if they even paid attention at all). Who knows?!

Last night, in yet another example in the ongoing Saga of the Skinny Sister, I was with a big group of people who again started the oooing and aaaahhing over her small size. They were even saying that my other sister and I looked more like one parent and that the SS looked more like the other. All my life I have been told (and know) that I look like that one parent while my older and younger sisters have distinctly similar facial characteristics that match the other parent’s. It makes me feel like people don’t really look at overweight people–the just kind of lump us together as the same. They lump together the lumps. Frustrating! I didn’t say anything about my aggravation with that openly, don't worry.

For attention, the SS does seem to eat it up and egg it on. In the case of accepting--or not accepting--food, she does whichever one derives the most noticeable glances or continued observation for her at the time. She thrives on attention in a lot of ways, so that’s not really out of the ordinary. Just as a related aside and for example purposes, I tell her that she is the Master One-Upper because if someone mentions an accomplishment or hardship, she always does it better, more often, or with more of a burden. She has almost embraced this title now because she is aware that she does it and continues to one-up (or one-down as the case may be). Of course, she makes sure to tell us all her superior accomplishment or hardship--therein showing her attention-seeking personality. But, on the positive side of the attention factor, she is also an entertainer type by nature. She is talented in all forms of art and makes us all laugh at impersonations and dance moves, etc. She often makes family get togethers and that sort of thing more enjoyable because we have a built-in entertainer.

Anyways, when I'm not around her as much, the 'skinny' comments and food thrusting don't affect me at all really unless someone is talking about her being skinny, etc. to me. Most of my friends are not this tiny (although there are some skinny ones in the mix), so it's not in my face every day. And sometimes when I am with her, it doesn't bother me either. But I can't (and don't want to) not see my sister as much because of these aggravations.

So am I being jealous and mean to be annoyed about these things in the first place? I can’t shake the feeling that I am. I definitely don’t want to just be vicious and pick these things apart because I love my sisters–the family tattletale and the skinny one :). I wouldn’t trade their fluffy and boney butts (respectively) for any others. :).

I'm Molting

It has become readily apparent over the course of the last couple weeks that my hair is definitely losing it stickwithitness. :( Though I dispose of it fairly quickly, an abundance of hair (which is coming out in greater quantities at any given time and more frequently during the day--it used to just come out in the AM or when I brushed/combed it) finds itself all over my bed, tub, and vehicle...among almost every other surface or space you can imagine. I have very fine hair, and I'm worried that it will become noticable to others if something isn't done. It is not at that point yet, but I may as well be somewhat proactive in prevention.

I have read about supplements and other things (like eating more protein) that helps. Does anyone have any experience with hair loss?

My Squirrel Mentality

Many people ponder the how's and why's of their weight gains. I have pretty much traced mine to my childhood. When I was a kid, I was VERY skinny. We were kind of poor for a fairly long stretch. During that time, food wasn't available in abundance. Although I can't remember a time when the cupboards were completely bare, I wasn't able to cook and couldn't get into the sparse supply of food that was available then either. Saying that, I guess that we did have food for most meals. I did not hale from Ethiopia or anything like that, but I do remember going without at times. Although a small part of this was me having the usual dislikes or possibly getting tired of eating the same food many nights of the week (my mom would try to combine meats with pasta/rice for cheaper cooking and would do only a couple deviations on that--I don't remember NOT eating the duplicate foods ever but may have done that so wanted to make sure I included that too for the sake of a fair accounting), there were times when there just wasn't really anything to eat. I remember coveting Ramen noodle soup packets (which are like 10-25 cents a pack now) and any kind of sandwich. I loved any snack available too. I would raid relatives' and friends' houses when visiting. I would hoard food and eat it later if I could bear to wait to eat it.

From what I remember, my family was always possessive when it came to food during that time too. I remember my dad putting a colorful note on an item he was reserving for himself in the frig. Evidently one of my grandparents had even put a chain and lock on their refrigerator when my dad was young (although the grandparents were all always generous to us). I hope that I am not like that with my children, but it does scare me a little.

At any rate, I guess that is the background from whence my eating addiction emerged. I have a sister who is just a couple years older than me who went through this as well. She also has weight issues now. I would like to tell her about the band--would really like to tell her--but she has already said negative things about WLS and cannot keep a secret to save her life (with a family that has also pegged WLS as 'bad').

In addition to my older sister, I have a sister who is ten years younger than me who is thin as a rail (literal Size 0) who never went through these times at all (in fact, though we all have the same parents, my dad has pretty much been out of the picture her whole life, and my stepdad has helped my mom raise her). To me, that just kind of goes to show that there is something to the root of mine and my older sister's eating issues and with our squirrel or hoarding mentalities (disclaimer: I am no psychologist; this has just been me thinking these things through over the course of the last few years :) ).